By RUSTY ROSMAN
Author of Two Envelopes

Chanukah or Hanukkah, which can be spelled numerous ways, and Christmas, which is only spelled this way, are two different holidays belonging to different religions. Even if they occur on top of one another does not mean they are the same.

Please, let me explain.

Christmas focuses on the 25th of December and commemorates the birth of Christ, the founder of Christianity.

Chanukah starts on the 25th of Kislev, not commemorating any one person, and lasts for eight days. Kislev is the 9th month in the traditional, Jewish lunar calendar. That’s why the date that Chanukah begins seems to be different each year, compared with the secular calendar. Our lunar months are shorter than in the secular system—and we occasionally add an extra month to “catch up” with the movement of the moon. We make that occasional adjustment because many of our festivals relate to cycles in the natural world, so they need to remain in the right seasons, over time.

Christmas is celebrated for varying lengths of time in different Christian traditions. There are entire books on how customs related to Christmas, sometimes called “The Nativity,” are celebrated around the world. Some Christians fast in preparation; most don’t. Some start earlier than others preparing for Christmas; some make “Christmas” last for many days after the official holiday. Some Christians still follow centuries-old traditional calendars that “move” their Christmas to entirely different dates on the secular calendar.

Compared with that diversity, Chanukah traditions are universal. The festival is celebrated for eight days and recalls a wonderful story. More than 2,000 years ago, a foreign ruler had tried his best to destroy our faith and to desecrate the Temple in Jerusalem—but a rebel group led by the Maccabees led a successful struggle for religious freedom. When they went to clean and and reconsecrate the Temple, they were amazed to find one tiny jar of holy oil left to rekindle the eternal light that had always burned in the Temple. It looked like enough to burn for only one day. Then, a miracle happened! That jar of oil lasted for eight days.

Today, we use an eight-branch candleholder, a Menorah. There is a ninth candle called the Shamas, which is used to kindle the candles each day. We begin the holiday by lighting just one candle and add a candle the next night so there are two and so on until eight candles are lit on the last night of the holiday. We celebrate by singing songs and eating foods cooked in oil like potato pancakes. In Israel and elsewhere around the world, donuts (sufganiyot in Hebrew) are a popular Chanukah treat.

So where do the presents come in? This was not an original Chanukah tradition, but began in Europe as Christmas became a holiday signified by decorations and gifts for the children in the house. Gift giving became even more popular in the 20th Century, usually so Jewish children wouldn’t feel left out while their Christian friends received gifts.

So, there is a concern many parents and grandparents share: Sometimes, gift giving seems to have overtaken the religious significance of these holidays.

Holidays like these should focus on family—and family means food. Lots of food!

Think about Norman Rockwell and his paintings of the Four Freedoms. The fabulous “Freedom from Want” painting of the family around the table as the grandmother serves a turkey invokes what all of us wish was true for our families—generations celebrating together.

This can be one of the greatest pleasures of celebrating our holidays: Being with loved ones, remembering holidays-past celebrated with those no longer with us—love and caring.

Gathering with people you care about at this time of year strengthens you in ways that aren’t always easy to express. Christmas and Chanukah are religious holidays that can include gifts but most of all, they are holidays of family, friends, happy remembrances, sometimes tears but most of all, love.

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Care to learn more?

Visit Rusty Rosman’s website to learn about her ongoing schedule as she continues, like Missy, to help groups of men and women across the country engage with these issues we all will encounter someday.

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