“Harold Heie practices what he preaches—which is civil conversation, from a serious Christian theological perspective, amid a context of brutal division. He doesn’t just theorize about the essential challenge—he creates contexts that model the way forward.”
Christian ethicist David Gushee on Harold Heie’s contribution to American life

Harold Heie (1935-2024)—
A Bridge Builder who Devoted Himself to Teaching Civility

By DAVID CRUMM
Editor of ReadTheSpirit magazine

NOVEMBER 2024—To Dr. Harold Heie, our friend: This is a heart-felt salute to your remarkable life. We’ve lost you just when your gifts are needed so urgently in the deeply divided America that we know you loved so much.

How timely is Dr. Heie’s body of work? This month (November 2024) I’ve learned that Dr. Heie had received a series of requests to appear on podcasts—and to do interviews with journalists—on the central question of his work: How can we bring people together across the political chasm that has deeply divided America?

Unfortunately for all of us who remember him as a gracious scholar and a compassionate guide to “difficult conversations,” Dr. Heie died Monday, November 18, at age 89 in the Sanborn, Iowa, area. He is survived by his wife Pat.

Harold Heie and his twin brother John were born in Brooklyn, New York, in 1935 to a family of recent immigrants from Norway. He had an early conversion experience to follow Jesus at a Lutheran Brethren Church in Brooklyn—but his early interest was mathematics and science. As an undergraduate, he studied mechanical engineering at the Polytechnic Institute of Brooklyn; he earned a masters in mechanical engineering at the University of Southern California and a doctorate in aerospace sciences at Princeton University. For a while, he worked at the Hughes Aircraft Company in California.

However, for most of his life, Dr. Heie used his pragmatic intellect and his deep faith in service as a college administrator and innovative program director at several colleges, including Gordon in Wenham, Mass., Northwestern in Orange City, Iowa, and Messiah in Grantham, Pennsylvania. He also was widely in demand as an educational consultant with institutions nationwide.

In our tribute to Dr. Heie’s life, I’m intentionally listing all those colleges (above) because some of his former students may stumble across this column honoring our long-time friend and colleague.

What transformed Dr. Heie’s national reputation mostly occurred, though, after his “retirement” in 2003. That’s when he really focused on his Respectful Conversation Project—a way to research and model along with real-life participants a better way to bring people together to talk about their differences. Much of the Project’s website is now dormant, but this “About” page includes a video of a sermon by Dr. Heie in 2012 in which he spoke about the convictions behind his work.

The Seeds of Dr. Harold Heie’s Wisdom

Dr. Heie’s key insight about bringing people from diverse backgrounds together for conversation is that any such gathering should begin by focusing on what we share. If we start there, our differences won’t seem so daunting.

My last interview with Dr. Heie was in 2019, when he described what he was doing in his Respectful Conversation Project and in his then-brand-new book, Reforming American Politics: A Christian Perspective on Moving Past Conflict to Conversation.

“Every Christian knows that we must love our neighbors,” Dr. Heie told me. “We all know that. There is no way to escape that truth. And, when I use the term ‘Christian,’ I am referring to anyone, whatever their particular denomination or tradition might be, who personally trusts in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ as decisive for salvation and redemptive of the entire created order. Anyone who aspires to be a follower of Jesus must follow the two great love commandments taught by Jesus: love of God and love for neighbor.”

“So what’s the problem?” I asked him.

“We all know we’re supposed to love our neighbors—but we don’t agree about how to express that love,” he answered. “A lot of Christians wind up violating our values about providing a safe and welcoming space for those who disagree with us. This is a real tragedy because, if we’ve lost our focus on love of neighbor, then we’ve really lost our way.”

I told Heie, “As a journalist specializing in covering religion, I’ve been reporting on these conflicts, sometimes called culture wars, that have been convulsing the religious landscape for many decades—certainly since the 1960s. Now, we’re at a point when many so-called ‘Christians’ are angrier than I’ve ever seen them. These are our fellow Americans. How did we get so angry?”

“There are many ways to begin answering that question,” he said. “But I think the main problem today is what I refer to as tribalism. We have segregated ourselves into tribal groups where we tell ourselves: We have the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth about the issue at hand. And, if anyone outside our tribe dares to talk about this issue? We know they clearly don’t have the truth. We don’t need to listen to them.”

“To some extent, we’ve always seen that kind of conflict, haven’t we?” I asked him.

“Yes, to a certain extent, tribalism always has been a part of American history. So, why is tribalism getting so much worse now? I think social media has made a major contribution. Social media is not conducive to real conversation. In fact, social media tends to insulate us and often precludes real conversation. The deeper we go into our tribal social media, the less opportunities we have to learn something from someone who disagrees with us. Adding to that problem of isolation is our obsession with speed in communication today. People don’t have time for the complex conversations we need to explore the most important issues we face today. Working through alternative points of view is a laborious process. Learning from each other takes time. What most people want today is an answer that will fit into a Tweet.”

Yes, There Are Christian Values and Virtues that Promote Conversation

Click the cover to visit the book’s Amazon page.

Throughout this unusual book—Reforming American Poplitics—readers meet Dr. Heie and 23 of his online discussion partners. In this particular phase of Dr. Heie’s overall project, these partners focused on the timeless values and virtues that can move Christians away from the current climate of conflict. Then, in his final chapter, Heie devotes 30 pages to a detailed overview of these values, easily organized with sub-heads so that the material flows logically from one lesson to the next. This section is perfectly laid out to help discussion leaders present these ideas to a group or class in a step-by-step manner.

Dr. Heie begins with Love, Humility, Courage, Respect, Truth, Shalom, Justice, Patience and Hope. Then, he offers suggestions for applying these values in the world today. Among his many recommendations:

• Develop personal relationships of mutual understanding by listening to and talking with those who disagree with you.
• Move from understanding to trust.
• Convene respectful conversations and expect civility.

Tips for Congregations Hoping to Encourage Conversation

In our interview, Dr. Heie stressed that starting his kind of small group requires thoughtful preparation.

“This reflects my hard-earned experience with what has and hasn’t worked for me,” he said. “You can’t hope to have a really good conversation unless you devote the first session to discussing the purpose of the conversation—and the ground rules. In our first sessions, we don’t talk about the main political topic at all. I always start with two leading questions: Why are you interested in being part of this group? And: What do you hope the end result will be from this group? We give people a chance to respond without interruption. The whole point of starting with that kind of session is to get used to listening to each other. We hear personal stories. We begin to understand more about what shapes each person’s way of thinking.

“Then, I lay out my five ground rules for conversation and I say plainly: ‘If you’re not going to abide by these five ground rules, don’t come back.’ That’s why I tried to spell out those ground rules in my new book.”

Readers will find that portion of his book beginning on page 388 with sub-heads over helpful sections that include:

• Develop personal relationships of mutual understanding
• Move from understanding to trust
• Convene respectful conversations and expect civility (a section that includes Heie’s five bullet points)
• Reach across the aisle, or table, seeking both/and positions

Dr. Heie’s book really is a complete tool kit for teachers, community leaders and moderators of the millions of small discussion groups and classes that meet regularly in congregations coast to coast.

And, I am not alone in saying this.

“Harold Heie practices what he preaches—which is civil conversation, from a serious Christian theological perspective, amid a context of brutal division. He doesn’t just theorize about the essential challenge—he creates contexts that model the way forward. This book is an impressive example of what Heie is about. I strongly recommend it—and the practices it embodies.”

So says the Rev. Dr. David Gushee, author of Changing Our Mind.

Dr. Harold Heie’s work sounds pretty timely doesn’t it?

So, perhaps our readers can understand our sorrow at his lost—just when we could have used his expertise more than ever.

Stay Tuned—

As a man of science, Dr. Heie donated his body to the Sanford School of Medicine at the University of South Carolina. There are no immediate plans for a memorial service.

As the publisher of one of Dr. Heie’s books most important books, we will continue to receive news about him—and we will share with our readers if there is an update on plans to honor his life and legacy.