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Two experts on end of life meet over Missy’s new memoir, ‘Feeling Your Way Through Grief’
EDITOR’S NOTE: Missy Buchanan is famous for writing about the spiritual values that strengthen us as we age. She is beloved by her thousands of readers because of her absolute honesty about the tough challenges we all face near the end of life—and also about the resilience we can reliably draw from our faith. That’s why her readers now are so warmly welcoming Missy back with her new memoir, Feeling Your Way through Grief, which tells how Missy made it through the many personal milestones she faced after the death of her husband. Rusty Rosman became one of Missy’s friends when Rusty published her own new book about planning for the end of life, called Two Envelopes. In fact, Missy first wrote about the death of her husband in a special Foreword Missy wrote for Rusty’s book. Now, both authors are crisscrossing the country talking to men and women about the need—first and foremost—to talk honestly about these issues now, before they become a reality in their lives. Our online magazine asked Rusty to reflect on Missy’s book. Here is what Rusty wrote about her friend’s work …
By RUSTY ROSMAN
Author of Two Envelopes
Grief hurts.
Missy Buchanan’s new book breaks your heart.
Her grief after the death of her husband is tangible in nearly every page of Feeling Your Way through Grief. As Missy acknowledges, life goes on—but the question is: How are we supposed to live it?
As I read through Missy’s short chapters, based on her experiences during the first year without her husband, I could see what was down the road for me or my husband when one of us dies. Each of us knows we will keep on breathing—but can we really appreciate how much our living is tied so intricately with our partner?
We share a home, laugh, cry, fight, eat, reminisce, plan, and do so many other things together—how will it be possible to do those things alone, someday?
Missy’s book lifts the veil that covers grief for most of us. Loneliness is a huge part of it but that’s just one part.
The loss of a spouse cuts deeper into our very definition as individuals. When death comes for one of us, suddenly we lose our definition of ourselves as part of a unit. It’s gone, never to be what it was again. Where is that old confidence that you can do anything because your partner is there to support you, laugh or shake their head at you?
You still can do anything—but the will and the satisfaction may vanish.
Page by page, Missy shares each new “first” after her husband’s death—and how beyond imaginable it is to navigate the new world she lives in without her husband. It breaks your heart and, at the same time, touches that part of you that recognizes the truths Missy shares. Each of us dreads that day when it’s our turn to learn what Missy now knows.
As the author of Two Envelopes: What You Want Your Loved Ones to Know When You Die, I talk with readers every week about these universal issues in our lives. Through these nationwide conversations, I have learned what will touch and help readers in their grief.
And, I can tell you a couple of things that I know are true about Feeling Your Way Through Grief:
If you are married, then this book will touch you. You’ll know right away that Missy’s book is real.
And that’s the central truth that guides both of us in our work: Honesty.
Thank you, Missy for this wonderful new book that can become a touchstone for living through heartache. I highly recommend this book as a validation of your feelings—feelings that so many of us are not even aware will be coming.
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Care to learn more?
Visit Missy Buchanan’s website to learn much more about her ongoing work and her many books.
Visit Rusty Rosman’s website to learn about her ongoing schedule as she continues, like Missy, to help groups of men and women across the country engage with these issues we all will encounter someday.
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