Judy Gruen: An Annual New Year’s Eve “Surprise” Party

EDITOR’S NOTE—Please, welcome back contributing columnist Judy Gruen, who first appeared in this online magazine in 2008. A very popular writer, you may have seen Judy’s byline on stories in The Chicago Tribune, Los Angeles Times, Wall Street Journal and New York Daily News. Recently, we invited her to write occasional columns for ReadTheSpirit magazine, again. It’s our pleasure to share these rich stories of family life. (You can learn much more about her work—and visit her website at the end of this story.)



I grew up in a home that honored many sacred rituals.

Judy Gruen’s mother, Liebe Leah Rosenfeld.

For example, Monday night was Mah Jong for Mom and her girlfriends; Wednesday night was bridge for Dad and his friends. As a die-hard UCLA alumnus and Bruin fan, Dad also attended every home game for both the UCLA basketball and football teams with a religious fervor that our rabbi could only dream of inspiring in his congregants. A true believer, Dad even followed his beloved Bruin basketball team on the road when they made it to the championship playoffs.

Friday night dinners were special because it was Shabbat, so we ate in the dining room, not the kitchen. When my mother’s parents joined us, Papa stood in his fine gray suit and made Kiddush and Hamotzei over the delicious challah from the kosher bakery.

As New Year’s Eve approached, the sacred ritual was Mom’s annual surprise birthday party. I’m not sure how it all started, but from my earliest memories, my dad got busy planning this shindig weeks in advance. Maybe he thought Mom felt cheated at having to share her birthday with the ringing in of the secular new year. Whether she did or not, this was one of Dad’s primary ways of demonstrating his love for his wife.

Of course, after the second year of this, these “surprise” parties were no surprise, but Mom’s foreknowledge never stopped Dad from making elaborate plans. Dad was severely hard of hearing, so shouting was his default telephone manner. I could hear him from the other side of the house bellowing to their friends, “Don’t tell Libby about the party! It’s a secret!”

I loved watching my dad run around planning the party. Like a secret agent, he’d pick up the cake from the bakery and deliver it to Mom’s best friend Eleanor, who brought it to the party. “I’m going to pick up the cake!” Dad hollered as he left the house, naturally when Mom wasn’t around.

Mom’s high school drama background came in handy when, instead of the “quiet dinner” that she had been led to expect on December 31, friends started popping and bobbling up from behind couches and doors, shouting “Surprise!” When the lights dimmed and Eleanor triumphantly brought out the cake lit with candles and everyone sang “Happy Birthday,” Mom reprised her annual performance, professing delighted shock and seemingly dazzled at her good fortune at having a husband so thoughtful, and friends so dear. Dad stood there grinning from ear to ear.

I never doubted that Mom and Dad’s friends would happily play this game each and every year. My mother, named Liebe Leah after her paternal great-grandmother, was intelligent, warm, gracious, tactful, refined, and beautiful. She listened more than she talked, guaranteeing that she had many friends who cherished her as a confidant. Mom was also very private, and I often wasn’t sure what she was thinking. She didn’t chat much about what happened to her at work during the day, and didn’t tell me many stories about her own youth. I wish that she had, so that I had more to draw upon when I think of her.

What she always made abundantly clear was that her love and devotion to her family knew no bounds. When tragedy struck our family and my older brother died in a car accident when he was seventeen, my mother summoned incomparable resilience to keep the family going, despite her own broken heart. Only when I was grown and a mother myself could I begin to guess at how much this resolute strength really had cost her.

My parents grew up in an era where people didn’t move around very often. The friends they had made in high school, college, summer camp or as young marrieds remained their friends for life, so the guest list for Mom’s party never varied. Eleanor and Dick, Stan and Ann, Alice and Morty, and other friends were sure to be there. It wasn’t just Mom’s birthday they were celebrating, and not just a new calendar year, either. They were celebrating their enduring friendships, and the power of rituals.

I look back at the durability of my parents’ friendships as something beautiful and remarkable. The mutual devotion among this group of friends was a great model for my husband, Jeff, and me. We work at keeping up our own friendships, but it is harder these days, as people even in mid-life and beyond remain so very busy, and can still up and relocate far away from you.

Dad passed away just before their forty-eighth anniversary. There were no more surprise birthday parties for Mom, but her friends made sure she would never spend her birthday alone. Mom was not only blessed with friends till the end of her life, but I know she cherished the memories of all those New Year’s Eve birthday parties, spanning decades, planned by a husband who couldn’t wait to “surprise” her all over again.

I am blessed that Mom’s name is on my lips throughout the year, and not only as her birthday approaches. Five years ago, when our second granddaughter was born, I stood at shul during the morning minyan and cried tears of joy as our eldest son, Avi, named his newborn daughter after her very special great-grandmother, Liebe Leah.


Care to learn more about Judy?

Judy Gruen is an author, essayist, editor, speaker and writing coach. Her memoir, The Skeptic and the Rabbi: Falling in Love with Faith, explores her unintentional path to religious Jewish practice.

Judy has also written three award-winning humor books and co-written a book on MBA admissions. She is a regular, longtime contributor to Aish.com, the Jewish Journal, and many other media outlets.

She lives in Los Angeles with her husband, Jeff, and spends as much time as possible with her young grandchildren. Read more of her work on www.judygruen.com.

Benjamin Pratt: Welcoming Spirits of a Christmas Carol and the Grace That Flows Around Them

Clicking on this movie-still takes you to the FX website for more about the 2019 BBC TV production.


A CHRISTMAS CAROL is as popular as ever nearly two centuries after Charles Dickens first penned the ghost story. This year, a major 3-hour BBC production is running on the American FX channelGeneral Hospital is airing a special Christmas Carol episode on December 23; the award-winning novelist John Clinch just released his take on the tale, called MarleyDolly Parton is performing on stage in Boston in a new “Smokey Mountain” musical version; Patrick Stewart returned earlier this month  for two sold-out performances of his famous one-man version to benefit two New York charities—and other new regional productions this year include An Edinburgh Christmas, moving the story north into Scotland; A Christmas Carol in Harlem; and even the new An Actors’ Carol in Connecticut.

HERE AT OUR PUBLISHING HOUSE, we admit to a bias for a haunting adaptation of the classic by our own beloved columnist and author Benjamin Pratt. Here it is in its entirety—the 11th story of 33 in Ben’s Short Stuff from a Tall Guy.


Welcoming Spirits of a Christmas Carol and the Grace That Flows Around Them

I have no memory of Christmas until I was in the 10th grade. That’s not because my memory is failing me—but because I grew up with no celebration of the holiday. Perhaps that’s why I am a fan of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, and, in particular, why I watch the 1970 Albert Finney version, Scrooge, more than any other film.

Millions know this story: As a little boy, Ebenezer Scrooge’s family was so tragically broken apart that he never experienced Christmas until he was a youthful apprentice at Mr. Fezziwig’s shop.

From this, I have learned that it is difficult to grieve what we do not remember. It is difficult to find Grace winding its way toward us, ready to burst into our lives, if we do not spend at least a few moments among the ghosts. Charles Dickens had a profound faith that God’s Providence wants to throw open even the most locked-away corners of our lives—­and to transform even the most tragic corners of our world. Reread his classic novella and you will discover Dickens’ theology of Grace. The keys are everywhere, even in his damning seven-word description of Scrooge’s home: “Darkness is cheap, and Scrooge liked it.”

So, I invite you to try my little exercise. Join me as the ghost of Jacob Marley invites us all: Come and let our spirits “rove beyond the narrow limits.” This year, I’ve already taken my journey. Here it is and perhaps it will give you courage to take your own.

Ghosts of Christmas Past

Scrooge asks if this is a journey into the world’s “long past.”

“No,” says the ghost. “Your past.”

One of My First Memories. In what became the formative story of my life, as a very young child I heard that because I was born my mother became an invalid. I was reared with a coating of guilt that glazed my soul as I watched her continue to decline. This story was told in my family, not in cruelty—just as a fact of life.

A Dark Secret. At age 11, another formative event. I had an inexpensive stamp collection, one that came in a plastic bag with a booklet for identifying stamps. In the back of a drawer I found an old stamp my grandmother had given me. This stamp with a standing bear was, to my surprise and delight, pictured in the small booklet. It was worth $10,000. My spirits soared! I could buy my parents a house! I carefully wrapped the stamp, included a note requesting the money, and sent it off with anticipation.

Days passed, along with my growing awareness that I had been a fool. Now, I was a doubly guilty fool. It took many years for me to transform that guilt into an admiration for that little boy who was such a trusting, innocent soul.

Dumb and Maybe Dumber. When I was a boy, schools administered IQ tests and I was haunted by a teacher who, one day, knelt near my desk to whisper, “We have a problem.”

I had scored extremely low on my IQ test, she told me. I knew instantly what it meant: I was dumb!

My mind already was buzzing even as she continued: “It is impossible for you to have scored as low as you did on the IQ test and do as well as you do in school. We need you to repeat the test.”

I never heard most of it—only the news of the extremely low score. I was worse than a guilty little boy. I was a guilty, stupid fool.

Ghosts of Christmas Present

This time, Scrooge welcomes the Spirit and says, “Conduct me where you will. I went forth with the first Spirit on compulsion—and I learnt a lesson, which is working now. If you have aught to teach me, let me profit by it.”

But Scrooge still has no idea what is looming. The patterns he has been sketching in the world remain unchanged.

In My Ministry, I Preach an Elusive Grace. My years of parish ministry opened into endless hard work. That pattern became my way of life. Like so many other clergy persons, I preached about Grace, but my life wrote a completely different theology. In my work, I showed how deeply I believed that only more and more good works could hope to justify my existence. The guilty, stupid little boy still was somewhere back there…watching me.

Ghosts of Christmases Yet to Come

Then, “the third Phantom slowly, gravely, silently approached … The very air through which this Spirit moved seemed to scatter gloom and mystery.” Can Grace be in such ghosts? But, this Spirit is the only one who completes the Gospel leap toward Grace for Scrooge. Of course we all know from the movies that this Spirit takes Scrooge to his gravestone. Actually, Dickens’ original story points us in a different direction: The key begins to unlock Grace during Scrooge’s final visit to the “future” of the poor Cratchit family. Standing in their tiny home, Scrooge is startled by hearing a line from the Gospels: “And He took a child, and set him in the midst of them.” As these words from Mark echo in Scrooge’s head, the Spirit is stirring. Dickens writes: “Where had Scrooge heard those words?”

What Happened in My Own Christmas Yet to Come. I could tell you time and place—but that is minor compared to the rush of Joy that filled my being when I finally surrendered my endless efforts of justifying work and heard the words in my soul that I am loved and accepted as I am. The Grace notes came from the outrageous love of the mysterious One who sent a child to be among us. It did not stop my hard work. But work came now from Grace, which leads to Gratitude, then to Compassion, and finally to Actions of Caring.

Click the cover to visit Amazon.

And so, as another turbulent year draws to a close, this is my own Christmas Carol tale, in search of light.

Are we like Scrooge? Oh, yes, we are. But if you have read this far, then I suspect that you do not like the darkness too much. You are willing, perhaps, to say with me: “Conduct me where You will.”

Think of me, slipping Albert Finney and Scrooge into my DVD player once again. I tell myself that this year I shall not cry. But, again, I know I shall. How can I help it, when I witness the Grace that abounds in Scrooge as he awakens on Christmas morn?

Or, as Dickens concludes his tale, he says of Scrooge “that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless Us, Every One!”

In ‘Tehran Children,’ Mikhal Dekel opens new doorways into a little-known ‘Holocaust Refugee Odyssey’

Editor of ReadTheSpirit magazine

Click the cover to visit the book’s Amazon page.

Forty-five years ago, I decided to become a journalist to explore the world’s mysteries, following in the footsteps of my heroes. My first guides were the travel narratives of Charles Dickens and Mark Twain, quickly followed by the globe-circling adventures of journalists Martha Gellhorn, V.S. Naipaul, Peter Matthiessen, Paul Theroux and Bruce Chatwin.

So, the moment I saw a train on the cover of Mikhal Dekel’s Tehran Children: A Holocaust Refugee OdysseyI was eager to read about her decade of global travels to retrace her father’s incredible flight from the Holocaust.

I opened the book as soon as it arrived. Then, I really got hooked when I discovered this sprawling odyssey took him—and thousands of other Jewish refugees—deep into Soviet slave labor camps in the arctic. That hit home, linking with my own memories of an early mentor. I was just beginning my studies at the University of Michigan when Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn’s The Gulag Archipelago first revealed the enormity of these Soviet crimes against humanity. My first UofM literary seminar was led by a survivor of the Gulag, the poet Joseph Brodsky, who went on to win the Nobel Prize for Literature.

Finally, my interest turned from fascination to an even deeper, haunting connection. Deker’s Polish father arrived in Tehran, Iran, in the spring of 1942—the same time my own American grandfather arrived in Tehran. Her father was a refugee who was overwhelmed, in part, by the sight of enormous U.S. vehicles and tons of equipment arriving in the city. My grandfather was a U.S. Army officer driving part of that mechanized tidal wave, which was bound for Lend Lease to Russia. My grandfather led a specialized railway construction-and-repair crew to keep Lend Lease rolling.

Yes, this is a book about an exotic chapter of world history—set in far-flung regions of the world that are rarely explored in contemporary nonfiction—yet I was meeting my own mentors and ultimately my own family, again. There certainly are thousands of other families that will be touched in similar ways.

Beyond those personal connections in these pages, I also was drawn into these compelling stories about places and issues that are global hotspots today: the rise of anti-Semitism in Poland, human rights abuses in Russia, the life-and-death impact of faith and culture in Iran and Israel itself.

The next time I list my journalistic and literary mentors, as I did at the start of this story, I am certainly going to include Mikhal Dekel.

The brief autobiography on her website, makes it clear why she was so perfectly equipped for this deep dive into global travel, research and writing. Born in Israel, she has professional experience both as an attorney and a scholar, earning her legal credentials in Israel and her doctorate in English from Columbia in the U.S. Her literary career already spans a vast range of topics—from themes of tragedy and revenge in Israeli literature to the depiction of autism in English novels. In short, she is exactly the kind of multi-talented, multi-lingual world travelers who is perfectly equipped to be our guide.

(Note: Already intrigued? Follow Mikhal on Twitter for ongoing updates about her work and related news items.)


Mikhal Dekel. (Photo by Nina Subin; used with permission.)

Mikhal Dekel. (Photo by Nina Subin; used with permission.)

The cinematic scope of Dekel’s new book is intentional.

At the core of her book is a family saga with life-and-death turns of biblical proportions. Shortly after the Nazis attacked Poland, her extended family made a dramatic plan to load up their essentials into a couple of big vehicles, hoping to flee the encroaching danger.

Soon, they discovered their their best-laid plans would encounter unthinkable obstacles—over and over again. At one point in their desperate flight to find a safe haven, leaders of two branches of the family decided to part company. Based on all that was known about the war at that time, one turned West and one turned East—one of several suspenseful parts of the book that will keep you turning pages late into the night.

Along the way, she selects and weaves into her story one compelling detail after another—unforgettable, crystalline facets of this story that you won’t forget when you finally lay the book down. Just one of many examples: A group of terrified refugee children don’t know what else to do, at one point, so they begin to sing a Yiddish tune, which she translates for us: “Mama, I want to remember who I am and where I came from and who my parents were. Mama, there is no country for me.”

On top of that true story of Holocaust survival, Dekel painstakingly researched and layered a series of other narratives into her book—like a Rashomon of Holocaust narratives, providing multiple perspectives on this agonizing flight across thousands of miles.

‘There Isn’t Another Book Like This’

I began our telephone interview by saying, “Your book is unique—and that’s a substantial claim. I’ve been reading Holocaust histories since I first read Elie Wiesel’s Night as a boy in the 1960s—and hundreds of books since then. I was aware that thousands of refugees fled East. For example, I’ve read a couple of best Shanghai memoirs, like Shanghai Remembered. But, I honestly can’t recall reading a book that takes us this deep into the gulag imprisonment of thousands of those refugees—and certainly nothing that takes readers into Tehran’s role in Holocaust survival.”

“I’m glad you understand the scope of what’s been written—and can see that there really isn’t another book like this,” Mikhal said. “That’s why I spent so many years and so many thousands of miles exploring and writing about my father’s story.

She said, “I realized that this was becoming not just a single new narrative of the Holocaust—but a global dialogue across the years involving many different narratives of what happened in those years. Yes, my book includes the Polish-Jewish narrative of fleeing the Nazis, but my story also includes the Polish-Catholic narrative, and the narrative of thousands of Soviet refugees and slave laborers in the gulags, and an Uzbek narrative and a Muslim-Iranian narrative.

“That’s why I am so proud of this book,” she continued. “Jewish history on its own is a very heavy burden for any writer to undertake. So, I struggled not only to carry that weight, but also the weight of so many other narratives that all interacted with each other in that era—and continue to interact today.

“It depends on the reader, but I do think each reader will have a chance to make deeper connections as they read my story about my father and family,” she said.

Opening a Doorway into the Soviet Gulag

Packing prisoners into a “Red Cow”—a Soviet prison train like the one Mikhal Dekel’s father was packed into as a slave laborer. These originally were cattle cars, painted red and used for prisoner transport.


“You’re right about the connections so many readers can make in these pages,” I told Mikhal as we talked. “Let me tell you a little about two doorways your book has opened into my own life and family.

“The first involves the Soviet gulag,” I said. “My own social conscience when I started at the University of Michigan involved both the Holocaust and the emerging news about the millions who died in the Soviet system of forced deportations, slave labor and imprisonment.  I remember reading every page of that 500-page first volume in Solzhenitsyn’s work on the gulags. Then, I began my first literary seminar at the University of Michigan with Joseph Brodsky as my mentor—fresh from the gulag himself.”

A Stolypin prisoner-transport car, used in Brodsky’s era of Soviet control in the 1960s—and still in use today in Putin’s Russia. The main development over a Red Cow car is the addition of steel partitions that separated groups of jam-packed prisoners.

Mikhal’s father—and thousands of other Jewish refugees—were packed into infamously horrendous “red cows,” cattle cars painted red, for the long trip to Siberia. By the time Brodsky made the same harrowing trip to Siberia, the train cars were a slightly different model called the “Stolypin,” which mainly added steel dividers into what was essentially a cattle car.

I told Mikhal, “I have re-read Brodsky’s poetry on this journey many times through the years—because it tells us so much about the plight of millions of refugees and prisoners, even today. I keep seeing current headlines about these abuses, including an investigation of the use of the Stolypin in the UK’s Independent newspaper. So, I was absolutely fascinated by your careful retracing of your father’s experience with the Red Cows and then in the deadly conditions of a slave labor camp.”

“Thank you for pointing out the importance of that part of the book,” Mikhal said. “It took me years to complete all the travel and research for just that section alone. That’s on top of all the travel to all the other places involved in retracing my father’s journey—and all the research in archives all around the world.”

“Not only were you telling his story,” I said, “but, you also were letting us see how people have tried to revise, reshape and obscure that history—often for pointed political purposes—across the decades.”

“Memory has either been absent on many of the things I write about in this book—or it has been politicized over the years,” Mikhal said. “My book not only tells my father’s story itself, but also how we come to know this history—and how history is remembered and has been changed in different places. This book really is a dialogue about the history and who remembers it and who gets to tell it.”

Most Americans remember few details of World War II, studies show. While the Auschwitz death camp is a world-famous symbol of the Holocaust in Poland, Polish history in that era is so complex that few Americans know how the Holocaust began in Poland. Polish Jewish families were torn about how to respond to the Nazi invasion of their western borders, because their own internal borders went through an agonizing, temporary division between Germany and the Soviet Union. Their options were not obvious.

“It’s a very complicated era, and it also was very confusing for the families living through it,” Mikhal said. “When Poland was first divided between German and Soviet control, about 1.5 million Polish Jews ended up on the Soviet side. That included both Jews who been living in what became the Soviet side—and many Jews who fled the Germans over into that side. Of course, many in the Soviet side were killed after Germany attacked the Soviets and took all of Poland—but about a third of those 1.5 million got deported into the Soviet interior. Of those who were deported, thousands of those died, especially under the harsh conditions of slave labor. But, about 250,000 of them, including my father, survived at the end of the whole ordeal.”

Mikhal said that, as she has begun traveling and talking about her book, she has discovered, “Even Jewish audiences who come to hear me don’t know much about this. After one appearance, a Jewish person came up to me, thanked me for writing the book, and said, ‘I didn’t know there were survivors like this among Polish Jews.’ ”

A Doorway into World War II Iran

Among the many snapshots my grandfather left us from his service in 1942 in Iran, this one shows him sitting on the edge of a fountain in Tehran. Now, I wonder who else he was passing in that square—perhaps one of the refugees Mikhal Dekel describes in her book.


“Let me tell you about the other doorway your book opened for me,” I said. “That’s Iran in 1942, when your father arrived. I have my own interest in that place and time because it has taken me many years to research the details of my own grandfather landing in Tehran that same spring. He was one of the best crane operators from the Ford Motor Company and had been recruited to serve in a special U.S. Army unit that operated an enormous, specialized train with a fully functioning crane on board. His team was dispatched to the region on a secret mission to keep the vast quantities of Lend Lease military equipment flowing across Iran and into Russia.

“I have a collection of my grandfather’s snapshots he took in the streets of Tehran as he was getting ready to move into the countryside. Reading your book, I had the haunting feeling that your father and my grandfather actually could have passed each other in the city streets that spring. Amazing!

“What’s so important about your book,” I told Mikhal, “is that I’ve collected pretty much all the books in English about Iran during World War II—and there are precious few of them. Your book gives us a major, eye-opening section about all the global forces that converged there in the early 1940s.”

“You should contribute your grandfather’s photos to an archive,” Mikhal said, “because you’re right—there’s very little written about this period. It was especially difficult for me to research this part of the story because I’m an Israeli citizen and could not do the on-the-ground research there in Iran. So, I had colleagues help me complete that part of the research.”

Surprising Cross-Cultural Connections

Mikhal Dekel, held by her father in Israel.

Mikhal said, “One of the big surprises for readers will be the vibrancy of the ancient Jewish community in Tehran, which still was very important at that time.”

I said, “One scene in your book that startled me was when the hosts of these poor Jewish refugees tried to help these young people recover both physically and psychologically. So, at one point, the hosts organized a group outing to take these kids to see Charlie Chaplin’s The Great Dictator in a Tehran theater. What a remarkable cross-cultural scene! You’re absolutely right: Readers will find this particular era in Iran a completely new world, one they’ve never heard about before your book.”

Mikhal said, “Just like people know little about the complex Polish history in that era—they know even less about Iranian history during the 1930s and 1940s. We tend to see Iran, today, through the lens of all of the confrontations in recent decades.

“But in 1939, when the war started in Europe,” she continued, “Iran was a neutral country with strong economic ties to Germany. German engineers had helped build the infrastructure, including the railroads in Iran. Then, as the war continues, Iran still has some of these historic German connections—but it also decides to let in Jewish refugees. And, at the same time, Iran becomes the focus of these huge numbers of soldiers and workers who arrive—including people like your grandfather. Tehran becomes this cosmopolitan, international center for a while. There is an ancient Persian-Jewish community in the region and these families suddenly are encountering Eastern European Jewish refugees for the first time. Cross-cultural contacts are being made in so many ways. New geo-political connections are happening every day.

“That’s why I say this book is not just the story of what happened to a group of refugees,” Mikhal said. “This also is a book about how such cross-cultural experiences along such an odyssey wind up changing the refugees themselves—and how the refugees change the places through which they travel.”

“And that’s why I say there is a lot of content in this book that we could described as ‘ripped from the headlines,’ ” I said. “Because, of course, millions of refugees are on the move, once again.”

‘A Glimpse into Other Possibilities’

Finally, I asked Mikhal, “What do you hope readers will take away from this book?”

“First of all, I hope readers will discover this history, which most people have never encountered,” she said. “There are terrible things that happened along this whole journey, but there also are moments of goodness—and hope as well.

“One message of this book is that there is possibility for dialogue between a lot of different groups. Discovering this complicated history can give us a glimpse into other possibilities in our world.

“In this book, I’m trying to open the heart of this story to the world so that readers may discover another doorway into interfaith dialogue.”

Service of the Longest Night and the challenge of ACEs, Adverse Childhood Experiences

Photo by Rémy Sanchez via Wikimedia Commons.


Contributing Columnist

On Saturday, December 21, my congregation will offer a Service of the Longest Night, sometimes called Blue Christmas in other traditions.

This is “one of the greatest acts of pastoral care in the Advent season,” according to Ministry Matters, and is focused on the pain and hurt that many people feel during the holiday season. Growing in popularity across the country, and sometimes called “Blue Christmas” services, these gatherings are times to acknowledge grief, loss and ACEs: Adverse Childhood Experiences.

ACEs include emotional, physical and sexual abuse, as well as emotional and physical neglect. “ACEs are common, cumulative, and are strongly associated with most of the leading causes of death in the U.S.,” says Rebecca Bryan, DNP, who spoke at a Presbyterian clergy conference I attended in October that focused on spiritual, emotional, financial and vocational health. She points out that ACEs are also associated with “health risk behaviors like smoking, disordered eating and substance abuse.”

Writing in Psychology Today, Teresa Gil says that ACEs go beyond abuse and neglect to include mothers treated violently, mental illness, divorce or separation, substance abuse, and an incarcerated family member.

Gil reports that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and Kaiser Permanente conducted a study comprising 17,377 middle-class adults with an average age of 57. The study examined the impact of ACEs on physical health and social functioning. In addition, they examined the relationship between ACEs and adult risk-taking behaviors.

What did they find? Adverse childhood experiences are common. One in six of the participants had four or more ACEs, and two-thirds had at least two or more ACEs. Yes, that’s right, two-thirds of the adults surveyed had at least two adverse childhood experiences.

The study also found that the problem of ACEs lasts a lifetime. High numbers of adverse childhood experiences in the first eighteen years of life are linked to poor physical health, mental health, and social functioning.

Adults with numerous ACEs are significantly more likely to behave in ways that place their health at risk. Such risk-taking behavior includes alcohol and drug abuse, cigarette smoking, compulsive eating and having multiple sex partners.

How Do We Hear These Stories?

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In my novel City of Peace, pastor Harley Camden discovers that his friend Dirk Carter has struggled with the problem of ACEs.

Dirk and Harley were sitting on the third-floor porch of Harley’s house, drinking coffee and looking down on Mill Street. A slight breeze rustled the dark-green leaves of the trees along the street, and the pedestrians doing Saturday morning shopping moved from one patch of shade to another as they progressed from store to store in the bright sunshine.

“Nice view you’ve got from up here,” Dirk said as he took a bite of a cinnamon roll.

As they gazed westward, they saw a woman walking down the street, suspending a child by one arm and spanking her repeatedly. The little girl was shrieking and struggling to break free. “I hate to see a mother do that,” Harley said.

“You’re telling me,” Dirk responded. For a second it looked as though Dirk was going to reprimand the woman over the porch railing, but she stopped berating the child and the little girl began to trudge along, sobbing instead of screaming.

“Reminds me of my own mother,” sighed Dirk, settling back in his chair. “She had a fiery temper and would beat me for minor infractions. One time, when I was probably five or six, I was trying to help her clear the table. I knocked a vase off the table and it shattered on the floor. She slapped me hard and knocked me to the ground.”

“That’s terrible,” said Harley. “That would be considered child abuse today.”

“Well, it was a different time. Made me feel like I had to walk on egg shells all the time. I never knew what would set her off. She really scared me.”

“Where was your dad in all this?”

“He was around, but never intervened. Maybe he was afraid of her temper as well.”

“I bet that made you mad at your father.”

“I’ve never really thought about it,” admitted Dirk. “Mad? I don’t know. Disappointed, yes. He could have stepped in, but he didn’t. I always got the feeling that he expected me to take care of myself.”

“So, if you needed his help, you were showing weakness?”

“Right. He expected me to be a man, and I didn’t want to disappoint him.”

“I guess that makes sense at a certain age,” said Harley. “But not when you are five or six. I think he should have protected you.”

“I guess. But what’s the point of being resentful? I can’t change the past. He’s dead, and has been dead for a long time.”

Harley thought about how the dead continued to grab hold of the living and mess with them, no matter how long they had been in the grave.

What Can We Do When We Hear Such Stories?

I was thinking about Dirk and Harley while learning about ACEs at my Presbyterian conference. And while walking in the woods I found a rugged stone altar. The rough stones of the altar reminded me of the pain of life and the ACEs that continue to shape so many lives. On top of the altar is a stone with the word “hope,” which suggests that healing is always possible.

According to Rebecca Bryan, the treatment of trauma requires a shift from the question “What’s wrong with you?” to the question “What happened to you?”

In her book Light Shines in the Darkness, Lucille Sider speaks honestly about what happened to her over the course of her life. She recounts her sexual abuse as a child and teen, her divorces, and her struggles with mental illness. Through the book she helps the reader to see these challenges with exceptional clarity, and her faith and resilience provide a guiding light to those in similar situations. At one point in the book she learns that the biblical word “blessed” can also mean “mature” or “ripe.”

Answering the question “What happened to you?” is the first step in healing from trauma and moving from horror to hope. “Empowering patients to see the connections of their whole lives may well enable deep healing,” says Bryan. “I believe Jesus came in a body for a reason—to teach us to listen to our bodies. The way back — the way to healing, to breaking through the hard, protective crust we’ve formed so we can rediscover who God created us to be—is by listening to our bodies.”

When individuals are encouraged to tell their stories and listen to their bodies, connections are made between ACEs and health risk behaviors. Such understandings can set the stage for healing, and lead to a “ripeness” that might not be achieved any other way.

My church will offer a Service of the Longest Night again this year with the hope that light will begin to shine in the lives of those who are struggling, in and around our congregation.



You’ll enjoy our March cover story about Henry and his new novel.

You’ll also want to learn about two related resources we publish:


BY LUCILLE SIDER—Clinical psychologist and clergywoman Lucille F. Sider adds her voice to the chorus of women in the #WhyIDidntReport and #MeToo movements with her new book, Light Shines in the Darkness: My Healing Journey through Sexual Abuse and Depression.

This is Lucille’s story of resilience and hope as a survivor of sexual abuse. She explains the challenges of finding her way out of a fear-based spirituality into one that is full of grace, hope and forgiveness. The unique richness of her book is that she wrote it to spark healing discussion, which is why she also has included a complete study guide that’s perfect for use in small groups.


BY ROGER MURCHISON—Here’s a valuable resource for families drawn to a Darkest Night or Blue Christmas service: Guide for Grief: Help in surviving the stages of grief and bereavement after a loss, by the noted Christian grief counselor Roger Murchison. He wrote this book, drawing on his many years of experience, because so many people are terrified of admitting that we are aging, let alone dying. Many families get stuck in patterns of grief and suffer as friends move on with life.

From his years of pastoral experience and study, he shares recommendations from both scripture and the latest research into loss and bereavement. This guide’s perspective is Christian, but all families will benefit from these well-tested principles. Each chapter ends with an inspiring prayer that readers can use in the journey we all will take through grief to wholeness.



HENRY G. BRINTON is pastor of Fairfax Presbyterian Church in Virginia, and has written on religion and culture for The New York Times, The Washington Post, USA Today, and Huffington Post.

A frequent speaker at workshops and conferences, he is the author or co-author of books including The Welcoming Congregation: Roots and Fruits of Christian Hospitality.—and a new cozy mystery called City of Peace.

Married with two adult children, he enjoys boating on the Potomac River and competing in endurance sports such as marathons.

Nine Holiday Gifts Guaranteed to Boost Your Spirits

Help Us Spread the Spirit of Peace this Season

SPIRIT is the courage and determination that helps people to survive in difficult times and to keep their way of life and their beliefs.” That’s a dictionary definition of the term—and is just what most of us need as we approach the year-end holidays this year.

Remember: Hanukkah begins on December 22, Christmas on the 25th, Kwanzaa on December 26, then some people even give New Year’s gifts. Books are a great choice for the New Year, because studies show that January is becoming a very popular month for starting new books!

What better gift to give someone this holiday season, than the gift of SPIRIT. All of these books promote peace by helping to bridge the gaps that separate Americans these days. Here are some suggestions from some of our favorite authors.

Click the cover to visit Amazon.

Click the cover to visit Amazon.

NOTE: With this article, we are providing the Amazon links because that’s the first choice for most customers, these days. However, all of our books are also available through Barnes & Noble, which is handy if you are part of the BN discount program—as well as many other online bookstores, including our own Front Edge store. We encourage you to order via whatever online retailer you prefer.

30 Days with Abraham Lincoln

At a time when Americans are more divided than ever, Abraham Lincoln still calls us back together. That’s why Lincoln remains the soul of America, appealing to everyone from the staunchest conservative Republican to progressive Democrats. That’s how a radio station in Maine built a loyal audience for a short weekly feature by Lincoln scholar Duncan Newcomer called Quiet Fire.

Now, you can join in this call to spiritually reunite our nation by becoming part of the first wave of readers of: 30 Days With Abraham Lincoln—Quiet Fire. This inspirational book collects 30 of Newcomer’s best radio stories in recent years along with links to listen to the original broadcasts.

Care to learn more? We also have launched a new resource page, packed with:

  • Free media you can download to spread the word, including a press release and a one-page flyer suitable to hang on a wall to encourage small-group discussion. There’s even a 1-minute YouTube video you can share.
  • Praise for this new book from men and women nationwide.
Click the cover to visit Amazon.

Click the cover to visit Amazon.

Finding God in Unexpected Places: Wisdom for Everyone from the Jewish Tradition

WARNING! The stories in this book might change your life. Responses we’ve heard nationwide include surprise, good cheer, occasional laughter and lots of reflections about the many ways God calls us to be compassionate people. How’s that for a gift with impact?

Author, Rabbi Jack Riemer is a master storyteller and teacher—one of the most frequently quoted rabbis in the U.S. That’s because of the fascinating ways he brings the relevance of timeless Jewish wisdom in our modern world.

What do a professional baseball player, Elizabeth Taylor’s jewelry box, a hurricane, a garbage dump and a blue blazer hanging in your closet have to do with each other? They’re all turning points in Riemer’s stories in Finding God in Unexpected Places that lead us toward universal questions we all confront at some point in life.

Reflecting on Riemer’s wisdom about life, retired U.S. Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor writes that the rabbi “is obviously a person with much understanding of the human situation.”

The late Nobel laureate Elie Wiesel said, “Jack Riemer’s words are songs of hope and faith. Listen to them, as I do.”

Short Stuff From A Tall Guy

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Do you have someone on your gift list who needs a boost of spirit for the new year? This book is the perfect gift.

Popular author and counselor Benjamin Pratt helps men and women rediscover hope and purpose in their lives through his writing, teaching and public appearances.

Short Stuff From A Tall Guy is a collection of dozens of columns that readers keep talking about as he travels and meets with groups of men and women. Pratt guides readers to fresh insights through compassion, humor, and honesty about the dilemmas, doubts and challenges that we all face every day.

All of his short, true-life stories lead readers toward the promise of home and renewed energy for trying to make the world a better place. He encourages readers to develop an empathetic heart.

And a special note: A number of the best stories in this book take readers through the seasons of the year—so you could order this book as a gift and specially highlight a story in the book for the season at hand.

In the Foreword to this book, Buddhist teacher Geri Larkin writes that she loves the book because it is “filled with compassion, service and respect for everyone. At a time when crime stories are the highest-ranked television shows and topping best-seller lists, here is a book that offers an entirely different experience.”

Click the cover to visit Amazon.

Can You Just Get Them Through Until Christmas?

The book’s subtitle hints at the inspiration you’ll find in these pages: The Turnaround Story of One Lay Minister and Two Small, Rural Churches.

When author Margie Briggs was asked to provide pastoral leadership for two tiny rural congregations, the men and women who continued to love those churches had hit rock bottom. Tragedy and controversy had claimed two previous pastors. Regional church leaders were so desperate that they begged Margie, a lay person, to work with the broken-hearted people in order to get them through the holidays. They asked her: Can You Just Get Them Through until Christmas?

Instead, Margie’s creativity and compassion inspired these men and women to reach out in new ways and sustainably grow their two churches into vibrant communities.

More than half of the churches in America are small with attendance of less than 100. In fact, the median church in the U.S. has 75 regular participants in worship on Sunday mornings, according to the National Congregations Study. Many other books, today, describe ministries at vast megachurches. This is a book for the vast majority of Americans who say they care about their far smaller congregations and pray, every week, that they might be able to grow. Margie and her parishioners did just that. Their story will make you laugh; a few of these honest scenes may make you cry; but, ultimately, you’ll be inspired by what is possible when men and women work together.

Click the cover to visit Amazon.

Friendship & Faith: Second Edition—The Wisdom of Women Creating Alliances for Peace

How about giving someone—or even yourself—the gift of friendship?

This book by the women of WISDOM (Women’s Interfaith Solutions for Dialogue and Outreach in MetroDetroit) serves up dozens of true stories about making friends, which may be the most important thing you can do to make the world a better place, and transform your own life in the process.

Making a new friend often is tricky, as you’ll discover in these dozens of real-life stories by women from a wide variety of religious and ethnic backgrounds. But, crossing lines of religion, race and culture is worth the effort, often forming some of life’s deepest friendships, these women have found.

In Friendship and Faith, you’ll discover how we really can change the world one friend at a time. So purchase a copy, give it to a women who you think could be a great friend, but maybe it’s not obvious to you both. She’ll get the hint.

Quaker singer-songwriter Carrie Newcomer writes, “We are pressed daily by messages of fear, conflict and the idea that we are hopelessly divided by our differences. The stories contained in Friendship and Faith remind us of the richness and beauty contained in our diverse spiritual traditions, while affirming our shared human condition.”

Click the cover to visit Amazon.

Light Shines In the Darkness: My Healing Journey Through Sexual Abuse and Depression

Sadly, every 73 seconds an American is sexually assaulted—which makes Lucille F. Sider’s book, Light Shines in the Darkness, a poignant gift for many men and women who share this heartbreaking experience.

Clinical psychologist and clergywoman Lucille F. Sider added her voice to the chorus of women in the #WhyIDidntReport and #MeToo movements by authoring this inspiring and helpful memoir. This is Lucille’s story of resilience and hope as a survivor of sexual abuse. She explains the challenges of finding her way out of a fear-based spirituality into one that is full of grace, hope and forgiveness.

The unique richness of her book is that she wrote it to spark healing discussions. As she describes her experiences in these pages, she also steps back and offers helpful analysis as both a psychologist and a clergywoman.

At the end of the book, she includes a complete study guide with questions for reflection for individuals, small groups and classes. Light Shines in the Darkness is a gift for the survivor or small group leader on your holiday gift list.

Bullying Is No Laughing Matter—an anthology of famous comics

Click on the cover to visit Amazon.

Millions of Americans follow the adventures of Beetle Bailey, Blondie, Luann, Dick Tracy, Gil Thorp and other top comic strip characters. We love to laugh at their adventures—and their misadventures. But, as the title of this powerful comic anthology declares: Bullying Is No Laughing Matter.

This full-color paperback represents a historic “team up” of America’s cartoon favorites. They’re united in encouraging kids to support each other when someone begins picking on them. National research shows that new forms of bullying follow kids wherever they go—inescapably plaguing them through social media on computers and smartphones.

Some of the comic artists contributing to this book have even added personal notes sharing their own experiences with bullies-or offering brief words of encouragement to kids. This book is a unique resource encouraging kids to build supportive relationships by starting with familiar characters they may have grown up with or will enjoy meeting in these pages.

Bullying Is No Laughing Matter unites 36 nationally distributed comic strips, many of them specifically addressing the issue of bullying for the first time in this publication. Readers will enjoy colorful visits from such regulars on the funny pages as Beetle Bailey, Blondie, Dennis the Menace, Dick Tracy, Funky Winkerbean, Gil Thorp, Luann, Stone Soup, Mary Worth, and many more.

Click the cover to visit Amazon.

Every Living Thing

The book’s subtitle explains why this is such a perfect gift for the animal lovers on your shopping list: How Pope Francis, Evangelicals and Other Christian Leaders Are Inspiring All of Us to Care for Animals.

That loved one on your gift-giving list who lives with a furry friend will thank you—no matter what religious tradition that person finds most inspiring. And, of course, the book extends beyond our beloved dogs and cats to encourage concern for Every Living Thing.

The world’s 2 billion Christians are hearing loud and clear teachings about animals these days. Pope Francis’s encyclical on creation care is joined by a chorus of American evangelical leaders writing about care for animals. The Humane Society of the United States has collected the latest teachings from Christian leaders to inspire individuals and spark fresh discussion in congregations. This book includes the new “Evangelical Statement on Responsible Care for Animals” and teachings from a dozen denominations.

Why should we turn to religious leaders for compassionate advice about the animals we love? Because the origins of the animal-care movement came from our religious traditions, writes best-selling historian Eric Metaxas. “The roots of animal activism come from people of faith—there are biblical reasons for this.”

United America

Click on the cover to visit Amazon.

Finally, if daily headlines about angry political and cultural disputes are distressing you and your loved ones—here’s some amazing good news.

It’s in the subtitle to United America: The surprising truth about American values, American identity and the 10 beliefs that a large majority of Americans hold dear.

University of Michigan sociologist Dr. Wayne Baker is reporting a surprising truth about Americans: We are united by 10 Core Values. This truth is empowering because it enables us to rise above and see beyond political polarization, Washington gridlock, the imagery of Red/Blue states, and the rhetoric of culture wars and class warfare.

In these pages, Dr. Baker shows how Americans agree on a surprising number of principles, based on years of nonpartisan, scientifically balanced polling and research.

Second, this book is exceptional in its format, designed for individual reading and flexible use in classes, small groups and other settings where men and women enjoy civil discussion about the urgent issues of our day. Educators and business leaders will find this book very useful, partly because it is so easy to adapt for your setting.

The idea that we share certain basic values is valuable and empowering-it’s an insight that can bridge political chasms rather than deepen them.

There is so much more great reading …

Our staff and friends urge you to check out our entire bookstore.


Peter Wallace: Rediscovering the Emotions of Jesus in ‘Heart and Soul’

EDITOR’S NOTE: To read the other half of this week’s Cover Story, you will want to see Duncan Newcomer’s reflection on Peter Wallace’s new book.

Editor of ReadTheSpirit Magazine

Click the cover to visit the book’s Amazon page.

In the endless debates over what the Bible requires about this or that issue—traditionalist evangelicals like to point toward chapter and verse where the words on the page appear to them to be clear, divine instructions.

Often, the best rebuke to such proof texting is to say: Whatever those words meant in the ancient world, Jesus came to teach us that the core of the gospel is loving God by acting compassionately toward those in need—and working against injustice and oppression.

Of course, it’s a perennial debate: Is Christianity defined only by words on a page—or by the personality of Jesus Christ, who most Christians believe is still alive and guiding people today. These two approaches to the faith can lead to very different priorities in the world. However, Christianity has never chosen one approach over the other. In fact, the faith was founded many centuries ago on a mysterious blend of Jesus as both human and divine. How can that be? For centuries, Christians have declared this to be the mystery of the Incarnation, which Christians soon will celebrate at Christmas.

The official formulation of the Incarnation describes Jesus as both “fully human and fully divine.”

That’s certainly an invitation to go beyond the words on a page of the Bible to explore the meaning of Jesus’ actions and feelings. And, that’s why author and broadcaster Peter Wallace’s slim new book, Heart and Soul: The Emotions of Jesus, is a perfect choice for small-group discussions in the New Year.

Jesus’s Emotions Open Doorways

Talking about Jesus’ emotions makes some Christians uncomfortable—and with good reason. Studying the realm of Jesus’ emotions opens the door to actually modeling his behavior in the world. It’s an idea that has empowered saints, ministers and huge institutions from schools to hospitals.

The key question: Is Jesus a divine character in a sacred book, reduced to words on a page—or is Jesus alive today and urging us to interact with the world as Jesus once did? That’s really the theme at the heart of Wallace’s unusual new book.

As author Duncan Newcomer writes, this week, in an accompanying column: Wallace’s new book holds a life-changing message: “It is the heart of God and the humanity of Jesus that indicates the potential of God within us. Of the teacher and the parent it is often said, ‘I don’t remember really anything that they said, but I never forgot how they made me feel.’ These are words that go beyond emotion to lifelong consequence, ill or well. And so it is that a book revealing the emotions of Jesus has it radical appeal.”

To put it bluntly: This is dangerous territory where our lives can be transformed by not simply proof-texting our way into Christian piety—but embracing the vast emotional range of Jesus in response to the needs of the world.

How Peter Wallace Rediscovered Robert Law

Peter Wallace in the Day1 studio.

Peter Wallace is internationally known for his many books—check out his Amazon author page—and for his national network of mainline, Protestant-Christian broadcasts, called Day1. Peter also is a long-time part of the ReadTheSpirit network of writers and editors who have become friends over the years. For example, many of our magazine cover stories are reposted on the Day1 website so Peter’s online audience and our audience become part of a larger online community.

Peter also has been featured in annual ReadTheSpirit cover stories for more than a decade. Just a few of his past visits to our magazine:

Peter’s 2013 book is called The Passionate Jesus: What We Can Learn from Jesus about Love, Fear, Grief, Joy and Living Authentically. While researching material for that book, Peter first discovered Law’s almost-forgotten work on the same theme.

This week in our interview, I said to Peter: “So, your research on Passionate Jesus led you to search far and wide for other major works on this subject—and you found that precious little had been published on Jesus’s emotions, right?”

“There are a couple of very fine scholarly books. If readers want something more challenging, then I can recommend Matthew Elliott’s Faithful Feelings and Stephen Voorwinde’s Jesus’ Emotions in the Gospels,” Peter said. “But, you’re right, the reason I was so intrigued by Law’s book is that there was very little about Jesus’ emotions written for general readers.”

“I think one reason so many Christian writers have avoided this subject is that it’s a powerfully transformative way to encounter Jesus,” I said. “This is dangerous territory. And, I think it’s startling to find such a prophetic work—published a century ago—was written by a Scottish Presbyterian.”

Dr. Robert Law

“Right! Just look at that stunning photo of him that I included in the book,” Peter said. “He looks so dour. We don’t know much about his life or why he wrote these particular sermons that form the book. I first ran across his book in an online archive and had to get a copy from the archive, because it’s been out of print for many years.

“So, other than reading what he wrote, we don’t have a lot of biographical material about Law to draw conclusions about his life. I’m just thankful that something came together in his life to produce this book that I think still vibrates with life and helps bring Jesus alive for us today. It’s as relevant as when he wrote it.”

What we do know is that Law was brought from Scotland to serve on the faculty of Knox College in Toronto, a theological school that still exists. At the same time, he preached at a local Presbyterian church. The sermons that form this book presumably were part of a series that was popular enough with his congregation that they were bound as a book.

“Ever since I finished my own book, The Passion of Jesus, I’ve always wanted to see Law’s book become available again,” Peter said. “Nancy Bryant and Church Publishing agreed to let me do this new edition, so I went through the original text and updated his style, here and there. With the editing, his message could have been written today.”

Updating the Book and Adapting for Small Groups

“How much did you change in your editing process?” I asked.

“Oh, I’d say the final text is maybe 95 percent Robert Law. I didn’t change much,” Peter said. “A century ago, for example, it was common to use masculine pronouns and I edited those references so they are more welcoming for today’s readers. Then, I also annotated the book with notes at the explaining some of his references. Back when Law was preaching, he simply assumed that everyone sitting in the pews understood his references to writers like Stevenson, Shaw, Wesley, Wordsworth and Browning. Today, people won’t pick up those references—so I added the notes at the end. Now, you can flip to the back of the book and learn more about the sources he used.

“Then the other addition I made was questions for readers to think about individually—or to use in a group discussion,” Peter said.

“What you’ve added really amounts to a discussion guide—bound right into the book,” I said. “So, it’s easy to use in a class or small group.”

Why Jesus’s Emotions Matter

This new book—like Peter’s earlier book about The Passionate Jesus—draws on deeply personal sources.

“I was raised in a very loving, warm Methodist pastor’s home—yet the image that I got of Jesus was not quite human,” Peter recalled in our interview. “That Jesus I saw in church when I was growing up seemed to float above the grit and grime of humanity. He didn’t seem to get angry—oh, except for that one time in the temple when he turned over some tables. As a result, I really couldn’t envision him as a loving person—or having a sense of humor.

“Movies didn’t help much. Most people have seen some of those old Hollywood movies about Jesus. He usually was played by these white actors who portrayed him as very unemotional. Then, as I began to do more reading myself, I realized that there were a lot more hints and glimpses of Jesus’s emotions than I was getting in church or I was seeing in popular culture.

“At the same time, I began to realize that exploring Jesus’ emotions really helped people to engage with him in an authentic way. Seeing a connection between our emotions and aspirations—and Jesus’ emotional life—we are encouraged and inspired in new ways. That’s why I wrote that first book, and now I’ve brought Law’s book back into print.”

In his introduction to the new book, Peter writes:

The insights you’ll find here are just as fresh and relevant to our lives today as they were when first written. Dr. Law reveals that understanding and appreciating how Jesus experienced and embodied his own emotions can transform how we live in this world for the good. We can become firebrands for social justice by putting our holy anger to good cause. We can be lovers on behalf of those left outside the community’s circle of care. Comforters of those who grieve. Encouragers of those in fear. Active sharers of the way of Jesus. God knows our world needs more such followers of the way of Jesus right now.


EDITOR’S NOTE: To read the other half of this week’s Cover Story, you will want to see Duncan Newcomer’s reflection on Peter Wallace’s new book.

Duncan Newcomer: Reclaiming the humanity of Jesus with Peter Wallace

EDITOR’S NOTE: We say that a book is a community between two covers—inviting readers to join the author in a national conversation.

Occasionally that conversation also unfolds between two authors and two books, which is happening this autumn with Day1 radio producer Peter Wallace and Lincoln scholar Duncan Newcomer.

Peter wrote the foreword to Duncan’s new book, 30 Days with Abraham Lincoln: Quiet Fire. Since the book was published this autumn, Peter also has published his foreword to the Lincoln book on the website for his national radio network, Day 1.

When Peter’s new book Heart and Soul: The Emotions of Jesus was published, Duncan discovered a strong connection with his own interest in helping readers to rediscover the compassionate vision of Lincoln. So, Duncan wrote the following reflection as part of our ReadTheSpirit cover story, this week. (To read the other half of this week’s Cover Story, here is David Crumm’s interview with Peter Wallace about Heart and Soul.)

In reading this column by Duncan, we invite everyone to order these two books and join in this very timely national conversation. How do you do that? Start by reading. Then, when you care to respond, visit either the Day 1 website or the Lincoln resource page. You’ll discover lots of ways you can enter these compassionate communities.


Reclaiming the humanity of Jesus with Peter Wallace


Click the covers to visit the books’ Amazon pages.

“Jesus wept.”

This is not the catharsis of the spectacle of a Greek tragedy, nor even a therapeutic release. It is the yearning of the heart for something that seems not to come to be. For Mary it was her fear that Jesus was too late to help her brother Lazarus so that he might have lived. For Jesus it was that the whole City of Jerusalem might have come to a new kingdom of God.

“Jesus wept.” This is not nostalgia for what has been. It is Jesus’s excruciating yearning confronting his awareness of a defeated hope.

For our lives, it is not the teachings of Jesus, not even the idea of atonement and other dogma named after Christ. It is the heart of God and the humanity of Jesus that indicates the potential of God within us.

Of the teacher and the parent it is often said, “I don’t remember really anything that they said, but I never forgot how they made me feel.” These are words that go beyond emotion to lifelong consequence, ill or well.

And so it is that a book revealing the emotions of Jesus has it radical appeal. One thinks of the way feelings and thought have been united, not divided. Jesus did not say, “I think therefore I am.”

But there is also a noted moment in the young lives of the American 19th century heroes William James and Oliver Wendell Holms, Jr. at their philosophy club meeting at Harvard. Holmes hotly said to James, “To think is no less than to feel.”

So how do we integrate emotions and thinking? How do we really find what Boethius called the Consolation of Philosophy, or what Shakespeare invented in his phrase: “think feelingly”?

If these are your concerns, then this slim but incisive new book of religious and spiritual reflections, edited by Peter Wallace, will move you to the implications of those concerns. In other words, an exegesis of feeling placed in the terms of the revelations of Jesus can bring your mind and your heart to a place you have always desired, a holy place that you did not know was holy until you wrestled with your emotions as well as with your thoughts.

Emotions are a difficult vocabulary for the masculine side of life and it is particularly valuable that these seven essays, sermons really, were written a century ago by Scottish Presbyterian New Testament scholar teaching at Knox College in Toronto, Canada.

For too many years, we collectively have labored under false assumptions about how much we can or should embrace either emotion or reason. It is often difficult even today for a man to credit his feeling—as it was in Law’s era to assume that a woman’s thinking was suspect. These wrongs are addressed by the remarkable, really beautiful perceptions of Jesus and his emotions in this book.

This book is not hard to read—but it is profound.

It is not just thoughtful—it is itself emotional.

Nothing could be more relevant to us in this time of climate catastrophes, refugees, epidemics, violence and economic injustices. What in God’s name are we to do with our emotions? Whether one thinks of the prayers and tears of Jacques Derrida or the tears of Mary and Jesus, we are now in the place of the sorrows of the heart and the rebirth of our soul.