Dr. Catherine Meeks transforms the “rags” of family trauma into a beautiful “Quilted Life”

April 1, 2024 by

Click on the cover to visit the book’s Amazon page.

Moving Together Toward Compassion:
A Call to Daily Transformation

By DAVID CRUMM
Editor of ReadTheSpirit magazine

Most of us who have made it into the middle of adulthood can recall moments of harrowing tragedy, humiliation and harm we have suffered in various forms.

The scholar and teacher Dr. Catherine Meeks—who now is 78 years old as she gives us her memoir A Quilted Life—calls such experiences the “rags” we accumulate in life. The central metaphor of her book is the traditional way African American women, in particular, saved discarded cloth “rags” so they could cut small, useful pieces to assemble beautiful quilts.

But with words like “memoir” and “traditional,” readers may wonder: How relevant is this message to us today?

So, that was the first question I asked Dr. Meeks in our Zoom conversation about this memoir. “How do you assess our moment in history?” I asked. “How relevant is your message to our world today?”

She said, “Well, I’m trying to be a helpful voice in our moment in history—but I’m not always sure how we should describe this moment. On my good days, there’s a side of me that wants to say, ‘I don’t really think things are any worse today than they have ever been. Can you find a time in the historical narrative of the world when we were able to live together? We’ve always been in the midst of some kind of upheaval somewhere on the planet.’

“So,” she continued, “there’s that side of me—on my good days. On other days, it’s more likely I’ll answer your question: ‘Oh my God! The whole thing’s going to hell in a hand-basket! How in the world are we going to stop the flow in that direction?’ ”

She paused, then added, “But the biggest thing I want to say right now is: I think this is a moment that calls us to be grounded in whatever we believe deep within us can hold us together. You can’t count on external circumstances to be anything other than chaotic. Right now, at this moment in history, we have a real invitation for people to find out what truly matters to them beyond just the externals in life.”

This answer prompted a wide-ranging exchange as Dr. Meeks and I connected her core message with similar messages from authors as diverse as Maya Angelou and Jeffrey Munroe. For example, the theme of Jeff’s new book, Telling Stories in the Dark, reflects author Frederick Buechner’s defining message that telling our stories honestly to each other helps us to discover we are not alone—and to connect with other people.

“I think it’s a powerful message we need to hear loud and clear, right now,” I said to Dr. Meeks. “That’s why I’m talking to you today and publishing a story in our magazine to urge people to read your book.”

She nodded. “Yes, and that’s a message I’m also hearing from some of the first folks who read my new book and reached out to me about it. They’re saying my story helps them to remember their own story better,” Dr. Meeks said.

“You know, when the idea of this book first came up, I was hesitant,” she told me. “I asked myself: Who needs to read one more story about somebody’s journey—unless it is a catalyst for people to engage in their own journeys? And that’s why I agreed to write this book: I want readers to reconnect with their own stories and memories and be engaged—to go deeper into their own lives. My ultimate intention is to be a contributor to healing and wellness by helping people to connect with whatever God has for them to do in their life for the good of the world.”

“Powerfully said,” I told her. “I’ll definitely quote you on that from the transcript.”

She nodded again, then added, “You know, we get into so much trouble in this world, because we don’t realize that your story is my story and we share a human story. If people would understand this better, we could begin to erase the racism and sexism and classism and able-ism dividing us and causing so much of the tragedy in our world.”

Transforming the ‘Rags’ to See Their Beauty

At the end of that lament about harmful “isms” from Dr. Meeks, did you note her concern about “able-ism”?

Readers may assume that the this book is mainly about Dr. Meeks’ long family struggle with racism—as well as her struggle as a brilliant woman trying to make her way in a strongly entrenched network of male academics and church leaders.

But, there’s even more to ponder in this memoir about the search for equality and justice!

Dr. Meeks also is an eloquent advocate for the millions of Americans with chronic health conditions that complicate family life and access to work—as well as places of worship. For decades, she has suffered from rheumatoid arthritis—and that struggle has been as potent a learning opportunity as confronting sexism, racism and classism.

Early in her book, she writes:

My journey resembles quilt making in that it comprises many experiences that the world would see as raggy—irredeemable or useless. I have suffered from rheumatoid arthritis and have been exhausted by trying to build a career in racist institutions. I have raised two Black young men, on my own, in a country that threatens the lives and safety of Black men. Despite the hardship, each of these experiences has allowed me opportunities to listen for the sound of the genuine in myself and in the world around me. The rags became more than rags. They are threads of love that were waiting to be put into conversation with one another. Pieced together, they would be transformed into a beautiful whole. All the disparate emotions, fears, hopes, dreams, successes, and failures that may seem worthless actually hold massive potential to help in creating something new that never existed before.

Then, later in her memoir, Dr. Meeks addresses her long struggle with her chronic health condition and draws this startling conclusion: “Rheumatoid arthritis became my teacher.”

To learn how that painful disability became an opportunity for growth in Dr. Meeks’ life, you will want to get a copy of her book, of course. But, overall, Dr. Meeks’ constant call to readers is to think of those painful parts of our own lives—our “rags”—and to consider the radical idea of re-envisioning those rags as beautiful and life-giving parts of our lives. And, by sharing those stories with others, she says to us repeatedly, those rags can contribute to a life-giving transformation of our communities.

The Spiritual Wisdom of ‘Putting One Foot in Front of the Other’

This journey—and the hope of the kind of transformation Dr. Meeks is describing—certainly is not easy!

It certainly was not easy for Dr. Meeks! At nearly every turn in her life story, readers will discover that her successes seemed to be met with fresh challenges, dangers and traumas.

She told me, “I certainly did not write this book so that people would say: ‘Oh, what an amazing person!’ That’s not what I am trying to communicate! What I am trying to communicate is that life is about perseverance. Life often is hard. Very hard. But I am a person of hope who is trying to persevere each day, because I refuse to be stuck. I want to be free. I want to transcend the limitations that are placed all around me. And so I wake up each day and continue putting one foot in front of the other until I am moving through my day.

“This book isn’t intended as a celebration of my life. It’s a story of perseverance. We’ve got to greet each day, ready to keep moving on—because we are pilgrims forever. That’s my message I hope readers will see in this book.”

‘Pilgrims Forever’

Did you note that very quotable phrase? “We are pilgrims forever.” Dr. Meeks’ book is packed with quotable lines, another good reason to read it. Her wisdom is likely to be quoted in countless columns and Sunday-morning sermons over this coming year.

There is another reason Dr. Meeks agreed to write this memoir, she admits: She realized that many people today have no idea what it was like growing up in a Black sharecropper’s family in the South. She watched as her own father’s faith and hopes were crushed year after year, because the sharecropping system was designed to never allow him to bring his family’s heads above the deep waters of his debt to white property owners. At one point, her father even took a desperate action to break free—and failed. Dr. Meeks watched her father eventually die, sunk in his decades of discouragement.

So, these traumas Dr. Meeks writes about are more than insults or slights. These are life-and-death matters and her memoir is full of her own indomitable quest for justice—for herself and for her thousands of students over many years.

Yet, through it all, Dr. Meeks’ voice “sounds” very much like we are sitting around a kitchen table after dinner as this  matriarch tells her life’s story. Even in the most dramatic moments she encountered—for instance, the 1965 Watts Uprising—there’s no effort to over dramatize in her narration. In reading this book, we’re simply letting a beloved storyteller stitch together this astonishingly varied patchwork quilt into a narrative that has the potential to heal us—if we read carefully and take the lessons to heart, that is.

‘Turquoise and Lavender’

The book ends just before Dr. Meeks decided to add just a bit more to her life’s quilt. Shortly after she finished this manuscript, she finally retired from some of her major daily commitments (you can read all about her many accomplishments in the memoir)—and decided to launch a new online community dedicated entirely to healing individuals and communities by evoking shared experiences. Those include outdoor experiences, especially with flowers, herbs and stones.

If you want to explore that latest colorful section of Dr. Meeks’ quilt, visit her new website Turquoise and Lavender. If you do click that link, you’ll find a page with a longer summary of Dr. Meeks’ many accomplishments—and you’ll be able to see watch a beautifully produced video in which Dr. Meeks talks to visitors about this new project.

This memoir is inspiring because Dr. Meeks not only triumphed over adversity herself but, more importantly, has kept inventing new ways of promoting transformation in others. You’ll feel it’s well worth the effort to spend some time by Dr. Meeks’ side.

Leanne Friesen’s ‘Grieving Room’ helps us chart the long journey of grief in the hope—of making room for hope itself

March 3, 2024 by

Leanne Friesen and her book. (Photo courtesy of Leanne.)

After a traumatic death, you can help by ‘making room’

By DAVID CRUMM
Editor of ReadTheSpirit magazine

Click this cover to visit the book’s Amazon page.

Halfway through Leanne Friesen’s new book, Grieving Room, my reaction was: This is both a daring and a rare book.

By that I mean: It’s a startlingly honest letter sent out into the world, especially pitched for readers in their 20s, 30s and 40s who need particular kinds of help with the long and twisting journey of grief.

Why is age an issue? Looking over the hundreds of books on the lingering effects of loss—grief can seem downright geriatric. When he published A Grief Observed, arguably the world’s most famous grief memoir, C.S. Lewis was 63. Only two years later, he followed his wife in death.

But, the truth is: Every year, long-term grief strikes millions of younger men and women—including Leanne Friesen in her 30s. At that too-young age, Leanne experienced the death of her too-young sister Roxanne. When Roxanne died of melanoma, Leanne already was an experienced pastor and thought she should be an expert in grief, which she wasn’t—yet. Eventually, in her 40s, and after living with her grief over losing Roxanne for a number of years, Leanne wrote this book to share their story with the rest of us.

And that’s the greatest value of this eloquent book: Leanne still is a relatively young pastor writing about grief among relatively young adults. At that age, our responses and relationships after a loved one’s untimely death unfold in different patterns, at a different pace and with different pressures than friends in their 60s, 70s or older experience after a death.

When I first read Leanne’s book, I was so moved by her insights that I posted an early review in Goodreads, explaining that her book was a solace for me as I continue to feel the loss of my own brother, many years ago, when he was only 39. Even though I’m now in my 60s, I could feel the authenticity of Leanne’s story of struggling to reclaim hope in her own life again after such an early loss. And, as I live with my own grief for my brother and others I’ve lost—part of my vocation is to publish columns like this one about the need to help each other with these journeys. Just last month, our magazine published a column by Jeffrey Munroe, author of Telling Stories in the Dark, about a man in his 90s who surprised Jeff by telling him about his heartfelt grief over the death of a brother many, many decades earlier. As I read Jeff’s column, I could feel that old man’s heartache. I can say quite honestly that I will be thinking of my own brother even into my 90s, should I live so long.

And that’s the most compelling reason to read Leanne’s book, I think. If you are grieving, this book assures us that this is a part of life we simply must accept and make room to explore.

The ‘bedeviling problem of age’ and untimely death

So, this potentially bedeviling problem of age was the first thing Leanne and I talked about in our interview about her book. The question that so many of us have wrestled with for years is: Does grief haunt us forever or are there ways to turn our paths, as we carry these memories, toward the hope of finding hope someday. Her book argues that there can be such a transformation—and I agree.

I said to Leanne: “One reason I want to recommend your book is your age, your sister’s age when she died, and what I think is this book’s value for millions of younger adults who are on this incredibly difficult journey—at what feels like an untimely age. Do you think I’m right in saying that?”

“I agree,” Leanne said. “I do think what you’re saying lines up with all the younger people who have connected with me online through my website and my Instagram page.” (That Instagram page, @grieving.room, has 34,000 followers!)

“When I lost my sister Roxanne, I was 35, and I couldn’t think of anyone I knew who had lost a sibling at my age,” Leanne said. “Often, the first loss in a person’s family is a much older relative like a grandparent—and those can be very shocking losses for people, of course—but that’s a different grieving experience than losing a sibling at such a young age.

“When you hit grief prematurely, you do feel profoundly alone—so I appreciate your saying that this book addresses that for readers. If my story can help other younger adults, then I am honored to be part of that. That’s why I continue to post to the Instagram @grieving.room—I can see from the responses that I get online that we do need to help each other make room.”

Why is this book ‘daring’?

I describe this book as “daring,” because it’s rare to read such an honest memoir by a pastor still in active ministry—especially when Leanne warns us about all the dumb stuff some acquaintances tend to say and do after a death in the family. She describes this honestly so that we, in our own grieving processes, will know we’re not alone in feeling hurt or bewildered by such responses—and to warn us away from repeating such things to folks we love when they are grieving.

Finding what we think are “wise words” after a death is an almost universal temptation. Especially after a traumatic death in one’s family, we receive a waterfall of well-meaning wishes from folks reassuring us that we can “cope,” “survive” and “get over it.” Such wishes—often accompanied by biblical-sounding adages—can have the opposite effect. If you have grieved, you probably recall all the unhelpful lines you heard—if not, read Leanne’s book to discover them.

At times in this memoir, Leanne admits to boiling with rage at thoughtless comments. She uses the word “anger” 34 times and “angry” 47 times—then “rage” or “raging” pop up 29 times, not to mention a fair number of times Leanne admits to having been “mad” or wanting to “scream.”

But, please, don’t get me wrong! This is a truly loving book. Leanne’s Instagram @grieving.room and her personal presence in our hour-long Zoom interview made it clear to me that she’s an exceptionally loving and generous person.

“I’m impressed that you write so honestly,” I told Leanne. “How did you summon the courage?”

“I decided to write honestly about these things because so many people misunderstand grief. Myths about death and grief are so common,” Leanne said in response. “I can tell you that, when someone walks up to me to talk at a funeral home, I’m mentally rolling the dice on what I’m about to hear them say. Sometimes people know what to say, but—all too often, what comes out is something that isn’t helpful—and may even be hurtful.

“That was one of my hopes in writing this book: I want people to know they don’t have an obligation to go ‘say something helpful’ to a grieving person,” Leanne said. “People who are grieving at a funeral don’t need friends to come up and theologize to them. They’re in the midst of grief. You don’t have to try to teach them something. There are so many other ways you can be helpful to them—ways that I write about in the book. I tried to make this book as helpful as possible.”

For example, she said, “I want people to to realize how long grief lasts—for years, just like we’ve been saying in this interview. Anyone who wants to be supportive to a griever should assume that anyone who has lost someone in the last year or two is still thinking about that—most likely every day. They’re likely still walking around in a bubble of grief. That’s certainly the way I was walking around for a very long time after Roxanne’s death. But people forget that, after a loss, especially a too-young loss or a traumatic loss, your life doesn’t go back to how it was before that loss.”

So, what can we do?
Start by ‘making room’

If you read Leanne’s book, you will discover that this is one of the most important “take aways” from Leanne’s book: We should help each other to make space in our lives for all the changes and challenges that come in the years after a loss.

In fact, Leanne is so intentional and practical about providing assistance that she closes her book with a 40-page section called “Reflections, Practices, and Prayers.” It’s a step-by-step series of suggestions for either individual practice or for group discussion and action.

And all of this rests on the central metaphor of “room”—the space grieving people need for a very long time after a traumatic death to adjust to the new world they are experiencing. “Room” is such a powerful metaphor that Leanne’s Instagram “room” is drawing new followers every day. When we met for this Zoom interview a few weeks ago, she was talking about the 31,000 people who had connected with her in that Instagram room—and this week, the total is already 34,000.

So, what is this “room” everyone’s buzzing about?

Well, that’s why you should order a copy of Leanne’s book in which all 20 chapter titles start with the word “room.” Between these covers, you’ll find a book-length amount of ideas to consider. But here’s just one example:

She makes a point in her book of recommending A Hole in the World, a recently published reflection on grief by Amanda Held Opelt, the sister of best-selling author Rachel Held Evans, who died at age 37. Leanne appreciates the way that book emphasizes the need to help younger people who are grieving “to make room for the rituals of death” in the midst of their own busy lives with the pressures of daily work and perhaps caring for children.

Then, in our interview, Leanne touched on one of her own favorite examples of “making room”: “I will never forget the two friends who understood what I was going through and made room for me in a practical way when Roxanne died. They had lost their father when they were in their 20s,” Leanne said. “They understood grief at an early age.”

In the book, she writes that these two friends responded to Leanne’s loss by volunteering to provide childcare to allow Leanne the uninterrupted “room we needed to remember Roxanne.” Leanne writes:

My children at the time were just 2 and 5 years old. … We didn’t have access to babysitters we knew who wouldn’t also need to attend the service, so I had wondered what we would do A few days before, I got a call from my friends, Jan and Jill, twins I had known since I was born. They explained to me that they had each taken the day off work so they could babysit my children during the funeral. I will never, ever forget this kindness. They were making room for our rituals, and in so doing, they made room for my grief. I felt swallowed up in compassion. I felt the blessing as we mourned.

‘Making room for hope’

After her years of navigating grief, Leanne has a great instinct for how she can now bless others by making room for them. She is a pastor, a scholar and now serves as a regional leader in her Canadian denomination. She also has become a popular retreat speaker and guest on many podcasts and online platforms. She earned her MDiv from McMaster University, plus a post-graduate certificate in death and bereavement from Wilfred Laurier University.

Her writing bears the marks of a thoughtful, natural storyteller who chooses each word for a precise effect. On the final page of her last chapter, Leanne writes that she hopes her readers will, someday, be able to make “room for the hope that you will not just get through your grief but that there can be ways that you will become a version of yourself that you will be glad to be.”

I love that phrasing because I so clearly recognize a fellow passenger through grief in that wording. Did you catch her nuance? She’s not promising readers that they will, indeed, “get through” their grief. She’s hoping that they will someday make room for hope. That sentence alone proves the illustrates of the wisdom of this book.

Care to learn more?

Want to connect with Leanne? Visit her at her website, LeanneFriesen.com, and visit her ever-growing Instagram community of friends @grieving.room

If you care to read a kindred book about rediscovering resilience after grief and other traumas, get a copy of Jeffrey Munroe’s new Telling Stories in the Dark. Both Leanne’s and Jeff’s books feel contemporary, honest and forward looking. These wise authors—both well acquainted with grief—are simply sitting down with us and sharing their hard-earned wisdom. They’re telling their stories, which millions of us need to hear—because they also are our own.

I closed my Goodreads review of Leanne’s book this way:

My hope is that many readers will find hope between these covers. And may Leanne Friesen continue writing for many decades until her life is so bursting with wonderment that we get the sequel to this wise and welcoming volume. And, God willing, may I be around to write another 5-star review.

Timely help for all of us: Mindy Corporon talks about spiritual and emotional resilience in the wake of tragedy in Kansas City

March 3, 2024 by

Talking about reclaiming “hope” at a 10th anniversary—and in the wake of fresh shootings

By HOWARD BROWN
Author of Shining Brightly

My podcast is heading toward 100,000 downloads—which means I feel a deep responsibility to my listeners around the world, each week, to continue providing inspiration and keys to resilience and hope.

Especially in the wake of fresh wounds from shootings in Kansas City, I am providing this special, slightly longer, podcast No. 68 with a woman who knows a great deal about living with such scars: Mindy Corporon.

In introducing Mindy for this podcast, I say, “We have to deal with the darkness in our lives to shine brightly once again. … Mindy Corporon is the co-founder of Workplace Healing and the Human Recovery Platform. She helps employers transform how they support an employee experiencing a life disruption.” And, she is the author of her own memoir about finding resilience after deep trauma, Healing a Shattered Soul.

Mindy is pursuing this work, today, because her own life was transformed by the savage attack by an antisemitic mass shooter who killed her father and her son outside a Jewish center near Kansas City—even though her family is not Jewish.

As we share Mindy’s wisdom about such tragedies in the podcast, I say, “Mindy, I hope that we are honoring their memory by speaking of them today.” We both felt emotional and humbled, because we were talking about that attack at the 10th anniversary—and yet we found ourselves once again needing to talk about coping with a mass shooting in Kansas City.

“It feels like yesterday and it feels like forever ago,” Mindy said. Those memories now are an indelible part of her life. “This changed the trajectory of where I would go in my life over the past 10 years.”

You can listen to this inspiring and wisdom-filled podcast right here:

 

Rusty Rosman invites us to shape our own legacies through ‘Two Envelopes’

February 5, 2024 by

Rusty Rosman, author of Two Envelopes.

Rusty Rosman, author of Two Envelopes, welcomes invitations to speak with discussion groups and classes either in person or via Zoom. Click on this photo of Rusty to visit her main author page online, where you can learn much more about her upcoming book—and how to connect directly with Rusty. (Photo by Rodney Curtis.)

‘What You Want Your Loved Ones to Know When You Die’

By DAVID CRUMM
Editor of ReadTheSpirit magazine

Click the cover to visit the book’s Amazon page.

In 17 years as the Editor in Chief of our publishing house, we’ve published lots of books with helpful resources for individuals and families—knowing that these books are keys to resilience, hope and peace in our world. Every day, our publishing house team-members are guided by our founding mission: “Good media builds healthy communities.”

That goal certainly is met by Rusty Rosman’s unique new book, Two Envelopes—which is launching across Amazon and other bookstores around the world on February 20.

The book’s subtitle is What You Want Your Loved Ones to Know When You Die.

If that subtitle sounds grim—just consider for a moment what Rusty tells readers on her first page: “It’s not always easy to think about dying—but each of us will, ready or not.”

In short, we all need this book.

How does this book build “resilience and hope”? By explaining a step-by-step process through which each of us—whatever our age might be right now—can clearly express what we hope our legacy will be in the world. We follow Rusty’s wise guidance as we read through the pages of this book, then we prepare our materials as she suggests, and finally we store them for the future in—yes, Two Envelopes.

Does this book really contribute to “peace in our world”? Certainly! If you have not already experience this yourself, then—as a lifelong journalist—I can tell you that millions of families have experienced deep hurt from arguments over “who does what” and “who gets what” as part of Mom’s or Dad’s legacy. One reason Two Envelopes is such a valuable guidebook is that those stumbling blocks can be removed as we outline our own expectations for our families—then save that record of our hopes for the future.

And, yes, that’s truly can be a powerful, loving act of family peacemaking.

Who should buy this book?

Everyone.

As Rusty puts it so clearly—death will come for all of us. Every one of us hopes that our legacy will be positive and loving. We don’t want to leave confusion or, worse yet, a family feud in our wake. Rusty’s book leads readers through that whole process of thinking about the future—and then laying out what we hope will happen after we’ve left this place.

Early readers who have gone through her book describe it as a self-revealing and wonderfully reassuring process of reflecting on the meaning and the ultimate impact of our lives.

Early reviewers say Rusty’s book “gives us peace of mind,” “a sense of control over how things will be handled in my family,” “compassion” and that the book even provides a much-appreciated dose of “love” to our families and friends.

“This book is an incredible gift to/for your family,” wrote Ida Goutman, an expert in counseling individuals and families.

“I truly believe that everyone could benefit from following the guide that she has provided,” wrote Joshua Tobias, one of Michigan’s leading funeral directors.

Get the book and connect with Rusty now

You can pre-order your copy right now in hardcover, paperback or Kindle from Amazon.

Or, if you prefer, you can order hardcover, paperback or eBook from Barnes & Noble.

Even the giant retailer Walmart has decided to carry this book among its online offerings.

In fact, you can buy this book from bookstores nationwide. If you have a favorite neighborhood bookstore, stop in now and ask at the counter to pre-order a copy of Two Envelopes. Rusty’s book is distributed worldwide by the wholesale giant Ingram, which serves nearly every bookstore in North America.

And Consider Connecting with Rusty

In 2024, Rusty Rosman will be crisscrossing the U.S. both in person and virtually. She’s a delightful speaker and workshop leader who you can invite to appear easily via Zoom if you would like her to talk with your small group or class.

How do you reach Rusty? Simply visit this Front Edge Publishing author page, scroll down a bit and you will find all of Rusty’s contact information.

Jeffrey Munroe on the power of ‘Telling Stories in the Dark’: ‘When we tell our stories, others find their own healing and hope’

January 19, 2024 by

Click on this cover to visit the book’s Amazon page, where it will be available in Kindle, paperback and hardcover after the January 30, 2024, launch date. So, please order now for prompt delivery. The book also is available via Barnes & Noble, Walmart, Bookshop.org and other bookstores nationwide. And there’s even more: Readers also can learn much more about this book—and can download a free discussion guide—by visiting the Reformed Journal Books page.

In Recognizing the Harmonies between Our Stories, We May Rediscover God’s Creative Music in Our World

By DAVID CRUMM
Editor of ReadTheSpirit magazine

Healing. Hope.

Don’t those two words sound wondrously powerful? And—don’t those two words seem desperately needed by all of us in our troubled world, today? That’s why I responded so enthusiastically on behalf of our publishing house the moment journalist, author and pastor Jeffrey Munroe proposed his new book to me.

“Telling our stories—that’s where we find healing and hope,” Jeff said to me and instantly I knew I was collaborating with a kindred spirit. Of course, I was already a fan of Jeff’s earlier book-length introduction to the works of our mutual mentor Frederick Buechner, Reading Buechner. I have been a life-long reader of everything Buechner has written and, as a journalist myself, had the opportunity to interview Buechner several times over the decades.

Both Jeff and I credit our mentor with laying out this wisdom about storytelling. Here’s just one of Buechner’s many formulations of this powerful truth:

“My story is important not because it is mine, God knows, but because if I tell it anything like right, the chances are you will recognize that in many ways it is also yours. … It is precisely through these stories in all their particularity, as I have long believed and often said, that God makes himself known to each of us most powerfully and personally.”

This week, our publishing house team is preparing to launch Jeff’s book—Telling Stories in the Dark: Finding healing and hope in sharing our sadness, grief, trauma, and pain. In preparing this news to share with the world, we asked early readers of this book what questions they hope interviewers will ask Jeff as he embarks on a series of public outreach events.

And please stay tuned to our ReadTheSpirit weekly magazine—and to the magazine where Jeff is the Editor, The Reformed Journal—for an ongoing series of news items about the many ways Jeff and his new book will be touching lives around the world in 2024. (By the way: There’s even a “Books” section now in The Reformed Journal’s website for news about this new book and future books we plan to produce with Reformed Journal partners over the next few years.)

Questions Readers Want to Ask Jeffrey Munroe

Jeffrey Munroe with his wife Gretchen in Holland, Michigan. Their mutual story also is a part of this book.

We’re starting our public outreach this week—as we count down to the national release of Jeff’s book on January 30—by asking the questions most folks hoped we would ask him.

Question: How did you come to write Telling Stories in the Dark? What led you to be interested in this topic?

Jeffrey Munroe’s Answer: The pandemic set me on this path. I knew seven people who died in the first year of the COVID pandemic and that made me think: If I know seven people, imagine the multiples of what this means across the general population? How in the world do we even talk about such enormous, widespread loss? I was having trouble reckoning with the loss myself—and I realized we all would need fresh resources, ideas for finding help together.

Also, my book Reading Buechner had launched just a few months before the pandemic hit and I lost opportunities to talk about that book because so many things were cancelled. But, I did find myself talking about the book with people at a church in my hometown—and I mentioned Buechner’s idea of “stewardship of pain”—and a woman asked me if I would talk with her further about that idea. When I began talking with her, I realized that I didn’t have as many answers as she had questions about this. What does it mean to work with our pain in ways that will lead us toward hope and healing? So, that woman’s questions led me to want to know much more about this. And, the fact that she asked me those questions showed me something else: We tend to think about pain or the experience of loss as something that happens to us individually—but talking about these stories opens doors to others.

I kept thinking about that question: What would it mean, after experiencing a loss or trauma, if we took that experience and did something with it that might bring healing to ourselves and to others?

Frederick Buechner flips a parable to explore ‘the stewardship of pain’

Question: How does this new book build on Reading Buechner, your previous book?

Answer: Reading Buechner is not a biography of Frederick Buechner, although I do cover biographical details. He was a prolific memoirist himself, so readers tend to know a lot about his life already, plus there have been academic, critical reflections on his life and work published on several occasions. Instead, I wrote this book for people who may have heard his name and are curious enough to wonder: What should I read? There are so many books out there you could choose—and he was a master of multiple genres, so you could choose novels or memoirs or other kinds of books! So, in Reading Buechner, I took 10 of his 40 books that I consider essentials and helped readers to see why those were good starting points.

If readers are looking for the phrase “the stewardship of pain,” I found it in an essay titled Adolescence and the Stewardship of Pain in the book The Clown in the Belfry. Buechner looks at the parable of the ‘talents’ in Matthew 25 in which Jesus tells about a man going on a journey who gives pieces of his property to be managed by his servants. Usually, in all the sermons I’ve heard about this passage, it’s about how we should manage our resources, our money and property, a pretty literal reading of the parable. But Frederick Buechner totally flips the parable around by asking: What if pain is the thing we’re given in life—and our temptation is to bury that pain and hold it inside of ourselves. The reality is that burying pain doesn’t work. Anything we bury like pain won’t stay buried. So what could it mean if we tried to do something redemptive with that pain?

People are willing to share their stories—if we are prepared to listen

Question: How did you find people to tell their stories in this book?

Answer: That’s the rub here. I did wonder: Are people willing to take the risk of sharing these kinds of stories? I discovered that, yes, people are willing to tell their stories if you ask them—and you are prepared to spend the time to listen carefully.

I’m finding this in discussion groups, too. Even before the book’s launch date, I’ve been able to discuss the book with early readers. I’m hearing some remarkable stories shared in those discussion groups. People are willing to share—even though our culture for many years has told us to hide these kinds of experiences. If we encounter loss and trauma, we’re told by lots of well-meaning people around us that we should just “get over it” as quickly as possible. But it doesn’t work that way. These stories are deep inside of us and can keep affecting us sometimes for many many years.

Instead, when we name our pain and talk about it with others, we find not only healing and hope ourselves—but others can find their own healing and hope. That’s what Frederick Buechner is talking about in that famous quote about telling our stories so others can recognize their own.

An insight shared with the 12 Step movement

Question: And this is an insight that lies at the core of the 12 Step movement, as well. That’s what Bill W discovered and it has helped millions of lives around the world. As recently as November, I was moved by actor Hank Azaria’s tribute in the New York Times to Matthew Perry for taking him to a 12 Step meeting. So, this idea of the transformative power of telling our stories rests on a deep foundation, doesn’t it?

Answer: Even Frederick Buechner once said that the church should look a lot more like an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting than it does.

Question: And, of course in your book, you welcome into each chapter this wide range of experts and scholars to talk about these gripping true stories we’re reading. That makes this book a real page-turner! As each chapter opens, we are immersed in another compelling true story, then in the second half of the chapter, an expert discusses that story with you. I know as I read your book, I began starting each chapter wondering: Will I be able to spot the key moments in the story that the expert will highlight?

Millions of books have been published and it’s possible someone else has used that format, but it seemed unique to me—that chapter-by-chapter pairing of people. How did you come up with that format of matching a different expert with each story?

Answer: I’m proud to say that I thought of that format myself. And part of that idea may have been because I’m a journalist. As journalists, we’re not setting ourselves up as The Expert; our role is to find people to interview who are the real experts.

When I started working on this book, I did try to read as much as I could in these fields of pain, loss and trauma—but I realized that the best use of my skills was to act as a reporter and interview people who know a lot about these issues. So, then, my challenge became: Can I match each person telling their story with someone who has real wisdom and insight into that kind of experience? I think that matching of people in each chapter really is a unique strength of this book.

For people of all ages

Question: Is this book intended solely for people who have gone through tragedy? Who is your target
audience?

Answer: No, this isn’t just for people who have gone through tragedy. This is a book for all of us, because we all will go through some kind of tragedy or a loved one will—even if we have not experienced that already.

Question: I’m thinking of Queen Elizabeth’s comment after the attacks on 9/11: “Grief is the price we pay for love.” Just as Buechner wrote about it, pain is something that happens in life—it’s something we all can expect to receive. And that makes this book appropriate for a very wide age range, doesn’t it? Can’t you imagine how different a discussion among college students might be from a discussion among older adults?

Answer: I’ve already heard that, yes. I shared this with an adult education class at a church and I asked: “Who do you see as the audience for this book?”

One woman said, “It ought to be a text in a senior seminar at every college. This is the kind of thing they should be talking about at that age. It’s equipment they need for living as they walk out into their lives.”

So, yes, I’m already hearing that this can be a good book for many different age groups.

Connecting with Jeffrey Munroe

Question: You mentioned that you’re available to lead discussions about Telling Stories in the Dark. How would someone go about reaching out to you?

Answer: Visit my website, JeffreyMunroe.com, then click on the “Contact” link.

If people visit my book’s page at ReformedJournal.com, they also will find a free Study Guide they can download to help with individual reflection or group discussions.

Ordering your own copy

Question: And where can readers purchase your book?

Answer: The book is available via Amazon, where readers can choose Kindle, paperback or hardcover editions. The book also is available via Barnes & Noble, Walmart, Bookshop.org and other bookstores nationwide.

Give the gift of Faith & Film for the new year, and become a friend of the remarkably prophetic Edward McNulty

December 17, 2023 by

MY MENTOR ED McNULTY IN A HISTORIC SUMMER—This is a rare photograph of the prophetic faith-and-film critic, the Rev. Edward McNulty, taken way back in 1964 when he was part of the life-and-death campaign known as Freedom Summer. That summer at the height of the Civil Rights movement, Ed was assigned to work at the Shaw Freedom Center in a tiny town in Mississippi. While in Shaw, one day, someone convinced him to pose for this photo with some of the young friends who attended that center’s educational programs.

Why should you subscribe to Ed’s Visual Parables Journal for 2024?

By DAVID CRUMM
Editor of ReadTheSpirit magazine

Among all the journalists I have known over my half a century of reporting on religious and cultural diversity, the Rev. Edward McNulty holds a record: He is the single least-photographed journalist I have ever known.

That’s appropriate because what Ed wants us to look at is not himself. He wants us to look at the movie screens we all share, these days, and he also wants us to look deeply into the Hebrew and Christian scriptures to discover inspiring and thought-provoking connections.

At this point in his long life as a pastor, peace activist, journalist and author, Ed stands alone as the venerable dean of faith-based film critics. Back in the mid-20th Century, many major denominations had film critics—including the Catholic church. Some of those denominationally based critics had broad influence in that earlier era—but that official role faded in the ’80s, ’90s and now is largely forgotten.

But not Ed. He has been officially anointed and remains the film critic of the Presbyterian Church USA, a still-influential hold-over to that earlier era.

This is a vocation—a true calling—for Ed. In each weekly issue of our ReadTheSpirit magazine, Ed freely gives away faith-and-film reviews of new releases from Hollywood and production houses around the world. He reviews dramas, comedies, musicals, super-hero epics, animated films, bio-pics as well as indie productions, documentaries and sometimes streaming TV series. When he writes, his knowledge of both scriptures and film history is vast.

The one way Ed tries to support his ongoing travels to preview films and continue with his vocation is through selling annual subscriptions to Visual Parables Journal.

Please, right now, if you are a film lover who also cares about the roots of Abrahamic faith traditions, click here to visit Ed’s Visual Parables Journal page in our online magazine and consider subscribing. You’ll enjoy the next 12 issues, each one packed with the latest reviews as well as Ed’s widely used discussion guides for those movies—and you’ll be doing a small part in continuing Ed’s work.

One reason I am writing such an enthusiastic endorsement of Ed’s work is that he is one of my personal mentors—or, in the language of faith, a true guiding saint in my life. At this point, he now has a uniquely influential, inspirational and thought-provoking career in American journalism. I hope that I can continue writing such inspiring and prophetic columns as long as Ed has done—and continues to do.

There are many stories I could summarize here to illustrate my deep respect for Ed.

First, he was baptized by fire in his long-time support for civil rights. In the late 1950s, when he still was an undergraduate at Butler University in Indianapolis, Ed also worked part-time running an after-school program for children at a Presbyterian church. Because he felt moved by his faith to join an early civil rights protest in Indianapolis—aimed at breaking down racial barriers in hiring at a local chain of grocery stores—Ed was punished by church leaders. He was called up on charges in his denomination and was grilled by a Presbyterian panel of white church leaders who did not want their employees publicly siding with the city’s Black residents. You can read his column about that experience here.

Ed survived that psychologically abusive ordeal—ultimately strengthened in his own resolve to support Civil Rights. I admire his courage in 1964 in heading South to serve in the historic Freedom Summer. I was only 9 years old that year, but in my family I read about the courage of those Freedom Summer workers, who risked life and limb to help register Black voters. Today, I am honored to know and work with someone who served in that life-and-death campaign.

In 2014, Ed marked the 50th anniversary of that historic Freedom Summer with a column denouncing the movie Mississippi Burning, because of that film’s diminishment of local Black leaders’ courageous role in the civil rights movement. In that column, Ed shared some of his own experiences in Mississippi—and he agreed to publish the rare 1964 photograph I am sharing (above) today.

To this day, I am astonished at his courage—more than 1,000 people were arrested that summer, 80 of the volunteers were beaten and, most infamously, some were murdered. I also admire and take courage myself from Ed’s stories about that summer, including one of singing civil rights anthems in a small crowd led by Pete Seeger in a little church so hot that everyone’s shirts hung from their shoulders, soaked with sweat. He wrote a bit about that experience when Pete died at age 94.

That’s why my personal appeal, as the founding Editor of this online magazine and publishing house, is: Please, consider supporting the ongoing work of this remarkably prophetic journalist by subscribing to Visual Parables Journal.

Click the cover to visit the book’s Amazon page.

If you care to read more, the book we publish with Ed is also a great choice for holiday gift giving: Jesus Christ—Movie Star, available from Amazon.

What’s in that book?

You’ll find complete discussion guides, including tips on selecting short film clips to show to your group, on 12 films. Some are straight-forward depictions of Jesus: The Gospel According to St. Matthew, Jesus, The Miracle Maker, The Visual Bible: The Gospel of John, The Passion of the Christ, Son of God, and Jesus Christ Superstar. Some feature inspiring and thought-provoking stories that have made many moviegoers think of Jesus’s life, including: Jesus of Montreal, Cool Hand Luke, Bagdad Café, Broadway Danny Rose and Babette’s Feast. In addition, the book has shorter overviews of dozens other Jesus-themed movies.

Please, whatever your faith tradition may be—consider meeting Ed McNulty through his Visual Parables Journal or through Jesus Christ—Movie Star.

Make that a New Year’s Resolution for 2024 to kick-start your own engagement with peace and justice—through faith and film in our world today.

Ready for Christmas? Kara Eidson’s Stay Awhile reminds us that hospitality is a divine pursuit

November 11, 2023 by

Click on the cover to visit the book’s Amazon page. You can get the paperback within a matter of days from Amazon or other online retailers—or you can begin reading the Kindle version within minutes.

How will your family celebrate this season?

Consider a Commitment to the Christian Value of Hospitality

By DAVID CRUMM
Editor of ReadTheSpirit magazine

Kara Eidson. This photo is from her video series that accompanies her new book, Stay Awhile, and is used with permission.

When I scheduled an interview with author Kara Eidson along with my daughter, the Rev. Megan Walther, a United Methodist pastor in Michigan—none of us could imagine what would erupt a few days later. We knew that the FBI was reporting religious and ethnic hate crimes at an all-time high across the U.S., but we had no idea that a horrific war would break out in the Middle East, driving hate crimes to even higher levels across the U.S.

Since then, our writers and authors have been working overtime trying to helpfully respond to the painful and often dangerous tensions in our communities, universities and workplaces. One example is this recent story by Howard Brown. Our many Jewish writers and readers already are talking about how their traditionally minor festival of Hanukkah will take on a much deeper resonance this year. In fact, as Editor of this magazine and publishing house, I have received scores of emails and other messages from our writers and readers around the world wondering how they can hope to bridge gaps among friends and neighbors ever again.

They will, of course. Hope and resilience that celebrates our religious and cultural diversity is the theme that has run through all 847 weekly issues of our online magazine. Collectively, our community of writers are specialists in resilience and hospitality. We know better times will come again.

But right now?

Right now, we’re all struggling every day to envision what hospitality looks like in our world.

As the Nativity season begins on November 15—

Now, as the “Christmas season” begins for the world’s 2.4-billion Christians—Kara’s focus on the timeless value of hospitality seems absolutely prophetic. This year’s season begins with the first day of the Eastern Orthodox Nativity Fast on November 15, 2023, and Western Christian Advent begins for the majority of Americans with the first Sunday in Advent on December 3, 2023.

I had invited Megan to join in the interview with Kara, who is the pastor of two churches in rural Kansas, so that Megan would add the perspective of grassroots ministry to our discussion of Kara’s new book, Stay Awhile—Advent Lessons in Divine Hospitality. In addition to her local pastoral ministry, Kara’s website illustrates her ongoing work as an author and educator.

So, how well will this new book appeal to everyday readers wanting a fresh source for individual reflection and group discussion in Advent? In our Zoom conversation, Megan served as our expert on that question. Megan told Kara:

“This is an intentionally pastoral book—and, by that, I mean you really know how to write in a way that draws people in. You tell stories we want to keep reading—and you lead us to just the right questions we should be asking. When I finished reading the book, as a pastor myself, I thought: I appreciate how practical this book is for Advent. I could hand this without fear to pretty much any parishioner and have them engage in a discussion about this book—and feel confident that it will go well and be helpful. You’ve set that up in the way you’ve so carefully organized everything in this book—even the accompanying videos. I appreciated those videos in particular. Today, I know people in congregations really enjoy having a video component to accompany their reading.”

At the end of this Cover Story, you can watch the first YouTube video in a series produced by Westminster John Knox (WJK Press) to accompany the various parts of Kara’s book.

Whatever your faith, hospitality also is a timeless American value

Kara appreciated our enthusiasm for her book and kept bringing our conversation back to her central theme: Hospitality.

And in emphasizing this value, she broadens her appeal beyond its religious tradition. She encourages all Americans to remember that hospitality is truly a heartland value. Even if you’re starting your Christmas season from a secular American cultural approach to life, Kara wants you to know:

Hospitality is as American as apple pie.

In that first video (below), Kara begins by telling us:

“I spent most of my childhood years living in the state of Kansas and I am a Midwestern girl through and through. And when you come to visit someone in a Midwestern home, or even in their office, and they want to chat with you, they say: ‘Pull up a chair and stay a while.’ That’s where we get the title for this book and the theme of this study. While there is a ton of worry and activity in the season leading up to Christmas day … the best part of Christmas isn’t all of the presents, not all of the wrappings, not all of the stuff—the best part of Christmas is when we gather together with people we love and we celebrate that love simply by staying awhile with one another.”

That’s also what Kara expressed in our three-way interview. On the day we talked, we had no idea what was about to erupt in our world. But, in hindsight, it’s crystal clear that Kara’s book points toward the perfect, timely theme for this holiday season: Coming together again as families and communities.

What’s in this book?

Stemming from values held deeply in the ancient world and translated through Jewish and Christian traditions, the timeless value of hospitality rests on the notion that there is divine purpose in welcoming people into our homes and communities. In religious traditions across various faiths, we are encouraged to recognize the divine spark in others. When welcoming a stranger, so the tradition goes, we might be welcoming a visitation of the divine. Jesus himself taught (look at Matthew 25) that when we welcome “the least of my brothers and sisters,” we are welcoming Jesus.

Kara’s book was written as a reminder of that rich tradition, which holds so much potential for healing communities especially in this era of intense polarization across America. One antidote to extreme division is relying on the timeless principles of wholehearted hospitality.

While that’s the core theme in Kara’s book, she divides her text into larger weekly and shorter daily reflections that readers can follow during Advent. If you are interested in exploring this season’s potential for building bridges with friends, neighbors and strangers in your community—then this book could be an inspiring companion on that journey.

Kara begins each week with readings from both the Hebrew scriptures, reaching into the Jewish roots of concern for our communities, and also from the Gospel stories of Jesus’s life. All along the way, she poses questions for personal reflection or small-group discussion.

So many practical ideas for your congregation

If readers are involved in the life of a congregation, Kara has included a section at the end of her book describing some of the creative ideas she has used during Advent worship services. Those resources include prayers adults can share with children—as well as prayers that can be used during the Christian custom of lighting “Advent candles” in the weeks before Christmas.

One idea that struck Megan as especially inviting is asking people in the community to bring in something from their home—perhaps an actual table setting—to be placed on a collective community table that will expand throughout Advent. More than simply showing off a table setting, Kara invites people to think of meaningful family stories they can share that are associated with these objects from their home.

“That’s one of the ideas in the Worship Arts section of your book that really interested me,” Megan said. “I can see that idea working well in small churches and also it could be adapted for larger churches like ours. That’s an idea I may borrow from your book. Can you tell me more about how you developed that idea?”

“This idea comes from some times in the past when I’ve invited people to bring objects from home into the church, along with the stories that accompany those objects—to share as part of sermon sermon series I’ve done,” Kara said. “I remember one series we did in which people brought in tabletop clocks, along with their stories. I’ve also had people bring in crafts they are making, while those crafts are still in progress, then people took them home—and brought them back the next week. Looking at those crafts, over time, we could those pieces grow and transform as people completed them. It was a powerful illustration of transformation over time. Then, for Advent, I like the idea of bringing in a table setting, or perhaps a serving piece, like a bowl, that’s been in their family. Together, these pieces could be arranged along a table—a table that illustrates hospitality.”

“I like that,” Megan said, “and especially the stories that come with those pieces.”

“Right,” Kara said. “There are so many ways to share those stories. You can put them in a weekly newsletter. You can print them on paper or in a booklet. People can tell their stories in a program.”

“And, I have to say: That’s just one of so many ideas in this book that I want to remember and borrow in the future,” Megan said.

So, this short book is both a toolbox of useful reflections, questions and prayers for your journey through Advent—and also a reminder that one of the truly divine values in the Christian tradition is hospitality.

Now more than ever, our world would be a better place if more of us who are involved in Christian communities remembered and embraced that timeless call to welcome and care for the whole world.

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